I'm so sorry, dude. I wish I could make it feel better, but having lost several people in my life I can relate somewhat. I won't pretend like the pain you feel will ever truly go away, but I can assure you that time will dull that pain.
Blessed be, brother.
PS- Do try to go to the funeral. It may be difficult and it may not seem like it now, but it will help provide you with some closure. Funerals are not for the dead, but for the living. Keep her in your thoughts and she will always be with you.