Topic: Dealing with breakup

[DoctaMario]

@Mooning Freddy:

     It sounds like you've got some stuff you need to work out, which is okay, because we all do. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about dating right now. Get yourself some therapy and identify what your problems are and what you can do to solve them so someone else doesn't have to try to. Start working out to boost your confidence, and learn from the situation.

     I have a friend who believes that people come into our lives because we manifest them at times that we're trying to teach ourselves a lesson. I think in this case, you manifested her because you know you need to get control of your emotions and your insecurities. No woman wants to be with a man who's more emotional than she is, and if you don't think you're worth a shit, neither will anyone else. Your ex basically told you that when she said "That it's hard to value a person who doesn't value himself or think he's special."

    Your ex sounds like she has a lot of things to work out too, but she sounds driven and very focused on what makes her happy. It sounds to me like you weren't really ready for her, for the relationship, but that in a way, she did you a favor, helped point you in the direction you need to go if you WANT to land another woman like her. And who knows, maybe you'll both get your shit together and things'll come back around.

But for right now, you've got to focus on being the best man you can be, because that's the only way a woman that's worth a damn is going to want you. They say you can have a shitty career and a happy marriage and still be happy, but that it never works out the other way around. So work on yourself, because that's the only way you'll be ready when someone awesome comes around.

[Mooning Freddy]

I am working on myself ATM, whatever that means. I'm finding more interesting things to do, a new job, and trying to focus on writing the novel that I always wanted to write.

And dating? I actually think that's exactly what I need. I think that's the main thing that will help me get over her.
And that's what I'm doing. I asked out someone new a while ago. A girl that I knew from university. At the moment, we only had one date. But it was great. We had a long conversation about ourselves, and it was easy. I was honest; I shared. I told her who I was, where I'm coming from and what I experienced. And she listened. She was attentive, she shared. She knew exactly what I was about to say at some moments. We had laughs. I didn't have to break my head trying to interest or impress her as I have done with the ex. She wasn't the "special, unusual one" to obsess over like the ex; she seems just a nice, cute girl.

Boy, I walked out of there amazed at how easy it was suddenly. Not going crazy over someone, just liking her.
Hell, I don't know how it would work out. I don't know her yet, so it could have its difficulties too. But after the date I messaged her, saying with full honesty - "I enjoyed spending time with you, I like you, hope to see you again soon" and she answered the same. And I felt much better. 

[darkmanx_429]

I am working on myself ATM, whatever that means. I'm finding more interesting things to do, a new job, and trying to focus on writing the novel that I always wanted to write.

And dating? I actually think that's exactly what I need. I think that's the main thing that will help me get over her.
And that's what I'm doing. I asked out someone new a while ago. A girl that I knew from university. At the moment, we only had one date. But it was great. We had a long conversation about ourselves, and it was easy. I was honest; I shared. I told her who I was, where I'm coming from and what I experienced. And she listened. She was attentive, she shared. She knew exactly what I was about to say at some moments. We had laughs. I didn't have to break my head trying to interest or impress her as I have done with the ex. She wasn't the "special, unusual one" to obsess over like the ex; she seems just a nice, cute girl.

Boy, I walked out of there amazed at how easy it was suddenly. Not going crazy over someone, just liking her.
Hell, I don't know how it would work out. I don't know her yet, so it could have its difficulties too. But after the date I messaged her, saying with full honesty - "I enjoyed spending time with you, I like you, hope to see you again soon" and she answered the same. And I felt much better.

Just don't get attached too quickly.

Don't bring up the ex (women don't want to hear your woes anyway) and quite frankly she is a non-factor in your life now.

Keep your options open. Don't worry about "dating" so much as to just be content with having company.

Also, don't be so quick to share all your personal stuff with a female you only just met. Keep it close to the chest, until you are ready to make another commitment.

Keep doing what you are doing.