In Reply To #1747
Death and Dracula are the ones that don't suck balls completely. Dracula is fairly honest to his previous incarnations (except that yellow neck thing that looks like some giant bug attached to him). However, Death sounds awesome. This is THE voice actor for him, IMO. The guy that again does Dracula is fairly good, though I consider his CoD voice the best so far.
Death should have had his trademark cloak. I liked his corpse-like look, but somehow he reminded me of a Metallica poster. But again, he looked decent when considering the rest.
You are right. I should've actually called Trevor "a retarded pirate". As in to exaggerate his out-of-place appearance. He may have come out as cold and arrogant in CoD, but in this game he's downright assholeyish. I mean, here we have little Eric Lecarde asking the man about his whip and he tells him to watch his tone. How the hell did he ever manage to raise a kid?
Even if he didn't want to beat up Sypha per se, he sure was eager to fight her. As I understand it, Trevor was insinuating he was pussywhipped during their marriage. Maybe that explains why he doesn't even mention her in CoD by name and gets stabbed and kissed by a leather-loving tattooeed ladyboy later..
And what was this whole pissing contest Simon had with Trevor? Leon would roll over in his grave if he saw his descendants fighting each other for the sake of proving which one's stronger. The only things missing from their climactic confrontation were team jackets and and blond girlfriends named Tiffany and Jenny egging them on while getting their panties wet.
I didn't expect anything golden from the storylines. But they could've put more effort in to the dialogues. The worst mistakes were ignoring obvious dramatic confrontations (like Dracula vs Alucard. I know Alucard's story had the logical dialogue, but why the hell did they include Al in Dracula's scenario's list when they made them start the fight with generic bullshit taunts?). Death, Golem and Dracula (ignoring the Al duel) had the best stories. Hell, Golem's was genuinely even kind of sad and it was good to see the ultimate bad guy DD duo kick ass while delivering memorable lines.
But here's the punchline: this game had many fan favorites. Yet the chracter most devoid of profile or history - a proxy enemy/boss (Golem) - manages to jerk tears. It's like they made a sad short film about the life of Hoppy the Fleaman whose life ends tragically by the cruel touch of Vampire Killer, sword or subweapon.
About Maria: if Konami's new idea of humor is dancing around what Japanese bachelors jack off to, I wish they went back to rubber duckies and ghosts using toilets