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Offline Dongled

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Castlevania: Sonata of Rapture (Fan-fiction)
« on: August 18, 2022, 08:05:20 AM »
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Earlier this year, I started writing some fan fiction for Castlevania. The idea for this was a fully fleshed out short story which would be a pretty light read. I'd be curious on your thoughts..bad or good and everything in between. Here's the Prologue and a page or two of the first chapter. Again, very early rough draft.
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Castlevania: Sonata of Rapture
By: Michael Levy

Based on the Konami Video Game Series, Castlevania. All Rights Belong to Konami, This is a free fan-fiction piece of work. This story takes place in the year 1711, and involves Dracula being resurrected by a warlock named Garland who wants to destroy humanity. Simon Belmont’s son Joshua is injured and sent away to France while his daughter Lydia takes on Garland and attempts to honor her father by stopping the resurrection of Dracula.


- Prologue –
   “You’re sure he wants these girls alive, ay, Raphael?” Two hooded figures held back a door with sobs, screams and shrieks behind it as the wagon’s padlock was placed inside a copper sheath on top of the door, preventing it from being opened once locked in place.
   “Who am I to question this kind of pay, eh? Listen…I don’t wanna know what the old buffoon wants with ‘em. He can have them for all I care. I can feed my family for months with this. It’s their bad luck for wandering the streets after dark.” The other voice, a stern, gruffness to it as the men hopped up onto their two horses pulling the cart they carried. The mist rose as nightfall continued, the sound of cobblestone scraping against hooves and wooden wheels creaked as they spun. The men headed towards the town’s exit, following a dirt path towards a large castle. The sound of meat ripping from bone as the boldest of the two men, Raphael, eats through the sound of screams. He could tell the other scoundrel wasn’t used to this kind of work.
“Hey, I know…it sounds awful from where we’re comin’ from. But, think about it like this way, Bart…” Raphael paused to take another gnashing bite of juicy red roast, slurping as he guzzled it down.
“…Your wife, she’s sick. This coin’ll get her the medicine she needs, yes? You’re saving a life, here!” Finishing his meal to go, he tossed the bone into the cold, wet earth. The rain continued to smack against the wooden box filled with women, twelve young girls to be specific. Old enough to be mothers, young enough to still be daughters, these girls were victims of kidnappings by the two men trying to rationalize their crimes as the night’s breeze rolled through their bones.
“True…I just…wish there was another way to do it. But you’re right….this Garland fellow…you said he was some kind of medicine man himself? Did he give a reason for needing this women?” Bart held the cloak around himself harder, wishing that he had something to block out the cries for help echoing from the wooden travelling box.
“Yeah, but the way I see it…these girls got a purpose to him. We’re just lucky he didn’t try to go after that wife ‘a yours…Survival of the fittest, my friend. Better them than us.” Fingers wrapped around the leather straps, Raphael gave a smack with his wrist, causing the horses to travel faster.
“This place wreaks of death and despair. You’d think Romania would be past this by now, but it just feels worse as the days go by.” Bart sighed, shivering as he spoke. What he would give for a night under the warm covers instead of out rambling in secret. Some time passed and the women in the large wooden cage began to grow tired of weeping.
Eventually, the men would reach their destination, A gate dropping with a thunderous slam, allowing them passage inside the castle walls. There they saw what they had only heard of in fables. The hallowed Castle Tepes, Better known to locals as Castle Dracula, a place full of both mystery and horror. Six figures in cloaks stood in front of the draw bridge into the castle, wielding what appears to be some sort of curved, circular blades. The two men were also armed with knight’s swords they had swiped from some blacksmith back at the town of Aljiba, but their skills were incomparable and their courage even less. A towering man with a dark grey beard appeared from the misty shadows of the draw bridge, an impressively large sack being carried with such little effort. The two gulped in their seats, voices shaky as they struggled to see who would speak.
“Uh…Y..You…” Raphael chirped.
“G…Garland…r…right?” Bart eventually took the lead.
“Boys, boys, boys…” Garland’s thick voice boomed across the stretch of the gate, as the ladies picked back up inside the box, begging for help with raspy salvation calls. His dark red cloak looked drizzled in blood, with clunky boots chomping as he stepped forward. He peeled his hood down, rain splashing down on his thick, stone-like head. His beady eyes sneered as his lips curled into a frightful smile.
“It sounds like you’ve got the last batch of ladies…now you’re sure they’re all virgins, right?”
“Garland, you have my word, these are the freshest in the town. Aljiba’s best. Just for your master…whoever he is.” Bart kept his hood up and Raphael followed suit. Garland smirked as he handed the bag to the men, disassembling the carriage from the horses as two of the six hooded figures grabbed each end of the wooden bars, detaching it from the mechanism and wheeling it away with an impressive amount of force. Raphael and Bart had a stunned look smacked upon their faces, luckily their fear hidden by their cloaks as Bart takes lead once more, fumbling with the string as he opened the sack.
“600, just like you said. A real pleasure doing business with you.” Bart closed up the bag quickly as he went to turn the horses around; the girls continued screaming fading into the distance.
“Hey…listen…” The horse stopped as Raphael stepped down from his horse, blade in hand, a lump of courage stuck in his throat as he gazed up at Garland. “I…is…are those…girls…who are they for?”
Garland tilted his neck, a subtle crack chirped out as he rotated his shoulder blade, cracking his knuckles along too before his heavy voice rang out. “If I told you, I’d have to kill you….”
Raphael breathed deeply, nodding as he backed away slowly, seeming to have realized they were outnumbered and probably in danger.
“I underst…” before Raphael could finish, Garland croaked out the two words which would be the last the two men would hear.
“Count Dracula…” The sneer that played across Garland’s face was lit up wide by the strike of lightning that showed the remaining four cloaked wonders for what they were: a crew of skeleton men in green armor who all charged forward in the blink of an eye, circular blades slicing Raphael in the throat, Bart in the legs and one of the horses as it collapsed with a throated whinny escaping it’s lungs. Raphael’s eyes bulged as he dropped his sword, holding his gushing throat as he collapsed into a puddle, the life draining from his eyes as he thought of his ill wife one more time before he took his last breath. Bart’s thighs squirting deep crimson as his horse escaped unharmed, carrying him back the way he came. Garland held his men back as he smirked, a hearty chuckle escaped his thick lips as he looked down at Raphael and his horse.
“Let him go…he’ll bleed out like a stuck pig before he gets to enjoy that worthless money. As if the pay matters. In a world of greed, those with the biggest payouts will reap the biggest regrets. Count Dracula will show these fools how weak they’ve become. Prey ready for the taking….the time has come for redemption of the wicked and the innocent shall suffer once more.”
The cloaked skeletons turn and leave as Garland slices the dead Raphael’s head clean off with one slash of his blade, gripping the young man’s wet, stringy hair as he moves back to the front of the draw bridge. A sea of wooden poles with metal sharpened tips jutting out across the entire entrance, many of which have beheaded skulls from centuries or decades prior. The squish of internal flesh squeezed a bloody mess down one of the pikes, as Raphael’s severed head was impaled through the tip, gouging out an eyeball as it ruptured once pierced. Garland wiped the blood from his hands onto his cloak as he turned, making his way in through the lowered draw bridge before it was pulled back up, the gate shutting as well. Raphael’s headless body and the dying horse felt the rain cascade down from dark clouds as the storm picked up its pace. The screams of the women disappeared into the night’s sky.       

Chapter 1: The Simple Life

It was the start of a beautiful morning as Mina Belmont woke a young man, about 20, from his restful slumber.
“Six in the morning, Joshua! Time to rise and start the day! Your sister’s been up for an hour already packing for both of your trips, now go on and help her!” Mina smacked Joshua’s exposed arm peeking out of the bedsheets with a wet towel, snapping it hard against him, leaving a wet, stinging mark on his arm. Damage hardly done as the brown haired man stood, stretching his tone body as he arched upon his tiptoes. He was shirtless, as Mina tossed a long sleeved shirt from a wax basket hamper.
“Your lady friends aren’t here, boy, you can stop showing off,” she snickered, Mina’s porcelain face breaking into an eyeroll as she strolled outside of their small cottage just outside of the town of Veros.
“Mother! Please…just because I got hurt, you don’t have to take it out on me! I feel bad enough as it is that Lydia has to go instead of…” Joshua’s complaints would be held still as Mina responded quickly.
“Instead of who? You? Honestly, now, if your father Simon were still alive to hear your whining, he would’ve sent Lydia anyways. We’re very well aware you wanted to play hero, but it’s Lydia’s time to shine. Now hurry up and get dressed so you can help your sister and I pack your things!” Mina’s playful anger turned into a smile upon her face as she grabbed a large satchel, placing some assorted rations and empty cantinas in between some thick blankets, sealing the bag as she added it to the covered wagon outside. The sun beat down on the green grass as the rays helped dry up the previous night’s downpour. A haze of light green buds grew on the thawing trees, as the April sky was wavy with light clouds and a fresh scent in the air.
The year was 1711. Romania was a troubled land, with the nights becoming more frightening by the day. Twelve virgin women between the ages of 16 and 23 were taken from various towns across all of Romania to the point where a ban on evening travels had been placed on females leaving their homes. As usual, the Belmont Family didn’t play by the rules; something they prided themselves on over the generations. Centuries would pass and the land of Romania would be swallowed up in sin, eventually forcing the hand of evil to drudge up the vilest of creatures to pillage the lands; all under the rule of Count Dracula.     

Offline X

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Re: Castlevania: Sonata of Rapture (Fan-fiction)
« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2022, 09:47:49 AM »
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Not bad, it's a good start for a prologue. As a fellow writer I don't notice anything off and it seems to flow rather nicely. I'm also not seeing any real mistakes that would catch my eye. Others might notice but we'll see.

Though personally I'm not crazy about the title, lol. Seem like a lot of CV fan fiction that's out there is hung up on IGAvania titles that come across as ambiguous and borderline nonsensical. I'm pretty sure they do it because, to the authors in question, it sounds cool to throw words like these together, but not really knowing what the they actually mean. This is just me though as I prefer a more direct way of naming a story, like what the Castlevania series used to do before SotN came out.
« Last Edit: August 18, 2022, 09:55:01 AM by X »
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