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Offline Mooning Freddy

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Dating Advice
« on: May 08, 2016, 01:54:37 PM »
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Hey guys. Me again with another boys and girls topic.
It's a bit embarressing to ask, but I'd like to hear your advice on this matter.
I've met this girl online and she seemed pretty cool. We had a nice conversation and have a thing or two in common. I liked her, she seems cool and attractive, responded to my messages and it was all fine.
Anyway, I suggested to meet up when she has the time, and she said "sure, I'd love to". Then she didn't say anything anymore.
I talked to her again the next day and she was talkative, had another conversation with smiley faces and everything. Said to her, hey, see when you have the time, I'll be glad to meet ya, talk to me later. She didn't respond.
Now, I don't know what's the best thing for me to do. I get the impression that she answers my questions but doesn't initiate conversation or anything. Should I be more assertive in this kind of situation? Is it possible that she's just shy? It doesn't seem that way to me. I mean, if I just wait for a response she'll probably vanish.
Should I take the initiative and suggest to meet up at some time? I'm so used to taking the "wink-wink, no pressure" approach that I sort of shy away from doing it.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2016, 01:57:05 PM by Mooning Freddy »
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Offline Belmontoya

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Re: Dating Advice
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2016, 02:07:55 PM »
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Invite her to hang out or go to a movie. Be specific set a time and a place. Don't talk about possibly hanging out again without something actually in mind.

If she doesn't respond to that then back off until she starts a conversation with you.

I wouldn't beat around the bush. Be confident, but don't come off as needy.

That's what I did and it must have worked because I ended up marrying the girl!

Best wishes man!
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Offline Mooning Freddy

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Re: Dating Advice
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2016, 10:26:16 PM »
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Yeah, I'll do it. Sounds like the best thing to do.  :rollseyes:
"Yes, I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available, because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."
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Offline Mooning Freddy

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Re: Dating Advice
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2016, 01:30:05 AM »
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Ugh, annoying. Messaged again today, Told her I'd be around at the weekend, asked whether sh'd like to meet up. She said "sounds good". Then I said straightforward: I could meet you at thursday or friday, which would you prefer? No response.
"You seem quite indecisive." I said, urging a response. Again, no response. 
That's ridiculous. If she's uninterested, I don't see why she's responding to messages at all, let alone getting my hopes up by pretending to be interested. Is she playing games? It's really immature IMO and I feel like throwing that in her face.
"Yes, I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available, because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."
~Charlie Sheen

Offline SecretWeapon

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Re: Dating Advice
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2016, 02:07:15 AM »
+1
Hope you like boys because odds are "she" is a catfish lol. Or at best an ugly and/or fat girl

Offline Jorge D. Fuentes

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Re: Dating Advice
« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2016, 04:16:41 AM »
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Sorry to say, but if the minute you mention hanging out or try to solidify a date she gives you silence, she doesn't want to see you.
And she's too scared to say "Sorry, i'm not interested in anything more than pen pals".

Move on.

If you want to try it one more time, then by all means, but It's likely that there's a problem.  The reasons may be numerous (maybe it's you, but maybe it's her, or maybe it's a combination of lack of time and other factors?  Who knows).

Never ask.
Instead, offer.

If you are going to try again, try with an offer, like this one for example:
"My friends and I are going out on Thursday for Cinco de Mayo drinks and shenanigans.  You're more than welcome to come."

It's proactive, it shows leadership, and it shows you have friends.
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Offline Mooning Freddy

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Re: Dating Advice
« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2016, 11:38:03 PM »
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Apparently I talked too early. Several hours later, she messaged me back, said sorry, was very busy, couldn't answer. Said she's cool with meeting over the weekend and we arranged time and place.
So I felt that I should give it a chance, even though it still seems like she was indecisive.
Ah, I don't know. Maybe she's playing games, maybe I'm just overthinking this - I mean, I did message her at a time she was probably studying. But I'll see how it goes. Why am I letting those things get to me? I'm failing as a guy.  :rollseyes:
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Offline zangetsu468

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Re: Dating Advice
« Reply #7 on: May 10, 2016, 05:49:45 AM »
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I'm with Jorge on this, even now.

If I was a betting man, no offense but I'd say she had you on the back burner as her b or c plan and she decided to catch up when a fell through.

Having said this I hope it works out for you now that you're meeting her.
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Offline Mooning Freddy

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Re: Dating Advice
« Reply #8 on: May 10, 2016, 07:07:36 AM »
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If I was a betting man, no offense but I'd say she had you on the back burner as her b or c plan and she decided to catch up when a fell through.

I don't think one should be upset and blow up like jigglypuff if that's the case, "Oh I'm not her first option? **** her then!". One needs to rise above the ego to find a good partner. The dating scene is horrible and not always whoever you like better at first turns out to be the better man or woman when you get to know him or her. I dated four girls this year. Three of them turned out to be boring as hell and I didn't even feel attracted to them. The fourth turned up to be too religious for me.
That is why I also think dating several people at the same time is okay, to the point where things get more serious.
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Offline X

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Re: Dating Advice
« Reply #9 on: May 10, 2016, 09:04:49 AM »
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Quote
That is why I also think dating several people at the same time is okay, to the point where things get more serious.

Be care of this. If the Archie comics are any indication is that this is not a very sound option to take. Having multiple GFs can lead to jealousy and strife between them. Especially if some are far more serious about wanting you then others. And it could very easily lead to you getting a bad reputation that will force other women to think twice about dating you. Take it one at a time. don't be greedy. Eventually you will find the right woman. Especially since we're on a world of over 7 billion people there's bound to be someone out there for you.
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Offline Mooning Freddy

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Re: Dating Advice
« Reply #10 on: May 10, 2016, 11:45:24 AM »
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Be care of this. If the Archie comics are any indication is that this is not a very sound option to take. Having multiple GFs can lead to jealousy and strife between them. Especially if some are far more serious about wanting you then others. And it could very easily lead to you getting a bad reputation that will force other women to think twice about dating you. Take it one at a time. don't be greedy. Eventually you will find the right woman. Especially since we're on a world of over 7 billion people there's bound to be someone out there for you.

That's not what I said, X. I did not talk about being in a relationship with several people at the same time. It's both wrong and difficult as hell. I was talking about dating, which is basically just meeting, hanging out together and getting to know each other without intimacy. Yeah, I know that some people include sex as a part of "dating" but I think it's wrong. From my perspective, once you start being intimate this is already the beginning of a relationship. (unless you're a casual hook-up kind of person)
« Last Edit: May 10, 2016, 12:02:26 PM by Mooning Freddy »
"Yes, I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available, because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."
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Offline zangetsu468

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Re: Dating Advice
« Reply #11 on: May 11, 2016, 01:26:05 AM »
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I don't think one should be upset and blow up like jigglypuff if that's the case, "Oh I'm not her first option? **** her then!". One needs to rise above the ego to find a good partner. The dating scene is horrible and not always whoever you like better at first turns out to be the better man or woman when you get to know him or her.

I'm not saying you should blow up at anyone, just be aware that it was more than likely the scenario at the time.
There's plenty of things to rise above in a relationship, if you're willing to rise above because you care about one another then that's all that matters.

Not everyone's situation is the same Freddy, I'm just saying as a fellow dungeonite don't sell yourself short.  :)

That's not what I said, X. I did not talk about being in a relationship with several people at the same time. It's both wrong and difficult as hell. I was talking about dating, which is basically just meeting, hanging out together and getting to know each other without intimacy. Yeah, I know that some people include sex as a part of "dating" but I think it's wrong. From my perspective, once you start being intimate this is already the beginning of a relationship. (unless you're a casual hook-up kind of person)

If you're talking about literally just hanging out then I agree there's nothing wrong with it until one party has expressed clear interest that they want more.
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Offline X

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Re: Dating Advice
« Reply #12 on: May 11, 2016, 09:34:21 AM »
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Quote
That's not what I said, X. I did not talk about being in a relationship with several people at the same time. It's both wrong and difficult as hell. I was talking about dating, which is basically just meeting, hanging out together and getting to know each other without intimacy. Yeah, I know that some people include sex as a part of "dating" but I think it's wrong. From my perspective, once you start being intimate this is already the beginning of a relationship. (unless you're a casual hook-up kind of person)

Okay, my bad. Although that's kinda how it sounded from here.
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