Topic: Wow Mom. A work of fiction? REALLY?

[Dracula9]

I know how Uzo is, Lelygax. I've long since come to just take it in stride.

What I meant, Uzo, is that you gave him shit for generalizing the Christian faith, but then explained the generalized reaction most would have in this scenario. Accurate though it may be, that seems a bit contradictory to me.

[Ratty]

Since we're getting away from the original topic why not discuss something less volatile like politics or the pros and cons of abortion?  let's just make sure not to get carried away guys.

[X]

Also, my mom has came at me with a knife more than once over living my life in a way she didn't much care for, pitched unopened soda cans at my head for just going out with friends after work (I'm 27 btw), even threatened me with a tire iron when I had an auto accident, 'cuz, ya know, accident implies "calculated action" in her world when it comes to me. I'm sure she'll do half of this shit again before we're dead; I'm sure she's got new crazy cookin' up for me as I'm typing this, she's just got to wait for me slip up.

Seriously dude, if your mother actually acts like this then call the police! This is bullshit. No mother in her right mind should ever have to act this way towards anyone, especially to her child. I'm thinking that her beliefs have given her a somewhat twisted mindset, kinda like the darkside of the force does to the Sith. Personally I believe (and no offense to you) that she might be mentally unstable. She should be psycho-analyzed. You are an adult and have protection rights under the law. You need to sit your mother down (forcefully if necessary) and lay out the cold hard facts. You don't need to take that from her or anyone else for that matter. You are your own person and have the right to feel safe and believe in whatever you want. If your mother can't or refuses to understand that? Cut her out of your life as she'll only be a liability. Harsh? Yes, but it might just be the thing that she needs to get with the modern program.

Goes against a LOT of the "established" Biblical beliefs, and as such was omitted, as well as the speculated Books of Mary Magdalene and Apostles who weren't Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John (but those could have been forged in their names, hence why it's speculated. But the omittances remain.)

You're quite correct. In fact there are 44 volumes of the bible that were deliberately cut from the final printing.

[uzo]

What I meant, Uzo, is that you gave him shit for generalizing the Christian faith, but then explained the generalized reaction most would have in this scenario. Accurate though it may be, that seems a bit contradictory to me.

Perhaps on the face of things that is true, but you're missing the context of it all.

There is always going to be a certain overlap of common beliefs in a religion. That's why it is a religion in the first place. It is the essence of people with common beliefs joining together. The act of generational in itself, like many things, is neutral. it can be good or bad.

The separation here is where his comment was a baseless assumption, having no direct tie to the faith itself, while mine was an observation and grounded in the faith. It is the same difference between: "All Christians are hypocrites!" and "All Christians believe in Jesus."

But again, there is a wholly different purpose here. I offer a potential explanation for an event, he offers an insult and means to discredit another religion, and those who follow it.

Are they both basic forms of generalization? Yes, logically that is undeniable. I could have been strictly explicit but, I assumed the average person would have picked up on the context without batting an eye lash.

[Dracula9]

Fair enough.

Also, my mom has came at me with a knife more than once over living my life in a way she didn't much care for, pitched unopened soda cans at my head for just going out with friends after work (I'm 27 btw), even threatened me with a tire iron when I had an auto accident, 'cuz, ya know, accident implies "calculated action" in her world when it comes to me. I'm sure she'll do half of this shit again before we're dead; I'm sure she's got new crazy cookin' up for me as I'm typing this, she's just got to wait for me slip up.

That's pretty fucked up. It should never get to that point.

[Laina]

Wow, are you okay right now? Now I see why you choose that kind of study. It's hard when these type of things happen and you knows that the person doing that still loves you and so you cant hate them for doing that, Its only their own way of caring for us...

lol Yeah, I'm fine, thanks. We joke about it now-when she's cooking, I'll usually hear, "Lay yer head down on muh block, sister (chopping block) & I'll saw right through that neck o' yers." We giggle, I doing so partly because her thick accent "gets me tickled" (I lawlz), then I try to teach her "proper talk" (what southerners here say to people with northern accents), she gives me the finger & we move on. I had an odd upbringing, that's for sure. I was pretty unhappy with it as a kid, that's for damn sure. But I'm seeing some silver lining now & well, I'm gonna be pretty okay I think.

[Laina]

That's pretty fucked up. It should never get to that point.

lol Yeah, at the time I was weird-ed out of course. But I'm honestly used to it & she's SERIOUSLY gotten way better. We haven't been in a physical altercation in 7 years this Christmas. Our fights have slowed down-are they still there though? Of course. I'm not faultless; I've blown up at her before, said some things I regret, hurt her feelings. Never gotten physical with her though (unless you count pitching a funsize candy bar at her out of rage when I was 13). I guess my point is she's not necessarily a monster, just...well, there's a lot there, a lot in her past that I can see where all this stems from.

[Dracula9]

Depends. Was the candy bar closer to being stale or fresh?

[Lumi Kløvstad]

Well, things with my mom are finally being patched up. She still insists that she thinks I'm taking the wrong path and openly hopes that this is just a "phase", but she's less condemning about my faith at this point.

Though we had an interesting moment a while ago, where she made a comment about "how small my gods are" because a single Æsir or Vanir was not all-powerful and all-knowing like the Christian deity. I simply replied that at Odin's table, all are welcome, even if the guest would rather act like a know-it-all and pretend the others didn't exist, though that guest's behavior would end up pissing off Thor and getting the guest hammered. But hey. That's Thor's problem, and not the Allfather's.

And she laughed!

Going ahead and counting that as a small victory.

there's a lot there, a lot in her past that I can see where all this stems from.

Sorry, but I think at some point someone has to move beyond the past and just admitting that they're a screwed up person. Charging at their child with a knife is usually considered to be well AFTER that point for good reasons.

[Laina]

Seriously dude, if your mother actually acts like this then call the police! This is bullshit. No mother in her right mind should ever have to act this way towards anyone, especially to her child. I'm thinking that her beliefs have given her a somewhat twisted mindset, kinda like the darkside of the force does to the Sith. Personally I believe (and no offense to you) that she might be mentally unstable. She should be psycho-analyzed. You are an adult and have protection rights under the law. You need to sit your mother down (forcefully if necessary) and lay out the cold hard facts. You don't need to take that from her or anyone else for that matter. You are your own person and have the right to feel safe and believe in whatever you want. If your mother can't or refuses to understand that? Cut her out of your life as she'll only be a liability. Harsh? Yes, but it might just be the thing that she needs to get with the modern program.

Ya know, an ex & I got into so many fights over that. I just couldn't go to the law because I knew I'd be ostracized by the entire family, save my Nana (man, I LOVE MY NANA...that's not sarcasm, she's a good woman). Also, my thoughts were always, "She's my mommy...she'll get better, I know it!". Well, she did, but only AFTER I quit speaking to her for 2 years. So yeah, shit's better now. I'm still not treated as an adult, there are a few altercations (the last one that I don't exactly count was when she threw cans of unopened soda at me for going out with friends-she mised on purpose of course), she still pulls some old tricks like trying to start public fights, but hey, I've come to accept that that's how it's gonna be until I'm married because when I was with someone she liked, this shit didn't happen. Penis = complete protection from all bad things...yeah. She's almost 70 & I believe wholeheartedly that some of this terminal craziness stems from her generation; I mean, think about it-we're living in a SUPER backwoods, small community in the south...and I'm talking about right now. This hole was a flippin' dirt road with about 6 buildings back in her day, I shit you not. My mom was a young lady in the late 40's to the late 50's...there wasn't a whole lot of women's lib & empowerment back then. Kinda the opposite. She was made to drop out of high school at age 16 by her father because he told her, and I quote, "Women hain't got no business in school atter they learn how to read n' write. You belong at home with ye mommy, tendin' to them young'uns (she has 6 brothers & 1 sister, of which she's the oldest). Men go to work & women stay home." Yeah...so let's fast forward to my dad. Heavy drinking, totally irresponsible big kid, wild child, spoiled partyboy. He forbade her to learn how to drive. So, my mom would wait until he was passed, steal his keys & drive up & down the dirt roads until she learned how to drive a stick shift '47 Ford coupe all by herself. That sounds awesome possum, but keep in mind this around 1965-67-driving a '47 model car back then is like me driving '94 Tercel now. Anyways, bottom line-she had a shitty life from what I can gather through first hand accounts, a.k.a., my brothers who were there for it. Does that excuse her? Not by a long shot. Does it explain her crazy? Yeah, to a point, I like to think so. There's a lot more of course, but since I've written a book, I'll cut this here. Also, this sounds like some pretty personal stuff, I understand that; but this place is like a second home to me & as it's been said in a separate topic (Laughing & Crying At The Same Time) there's going to be respect here if your post warrants it, this is a safe place. Man, it's good to be home. <3

[Laina]

Well, things with my mom are finally being patched up. She still insists that she thinks I'm taking the wrong path and openly hopes that this is just a "phase", but she's less condemning about my faith at this point.

Though we had an interesting moment a while ago, where she made a comment about "how small my gods are" because a single Æsir or Vanir was not all-powerful and all-knowing like the Christian deity. I simply replied that at Odin's table, all are welcome, even if the guest would rather act like a know-it-all and pretend the others didn't exist, though that guest's behavior would end up pissing off Thor and getting the guest hammered. But hey. That's Thor's problem, and not the Allfather's.

And she laughed!

Going ahead and counting that as a small victory.

Sorry, but I think at some point someone has to move beyond the past and just admitting that they're a screwed up person. Charging at their child with a knife is usually considered to be well AFTER that point for good reasons.

Glad you worked things out with your mom. *thumbs up* Also, sorry for kinda commandeering your original topic with my mile long posts. Completely unintentional.

And I see your point with my own past mom problems, appreciate you backing me up. But I think that the things that happened in her past were so traumatizing though that they've genuinely caused this psychosis. Could she get over them? With professional intervention, perhaps. But that's frowned heavily upon in our community (I feel like I'm trying to explain "the old ways" of some indigenous tribe...). Is that right? Of course not, we've had knock down, drag out arguments over that. I do my damnedest to bring her into a new age, believe me fellas. I haven't lost hope yet.

She did wrong, yes, but in her own weird ways she's apologized to me for it & many other things that have bothered me over the years. Hell, she outright said she was sorry to me when I told her about somethings that made me cry when I was 8. My jaw DROPPED when I heard, "...oh. Mommy didn't know...sissy, honey, I'm sorry." That was a beautiful, wonderful victory to me. I couldn't help but imagine it like a bridge had just been built between two small islands, connecting them & allowing for us to actually meet, to know & understand each other better. I suck at analogies, but there ya go. But yeah, the bottom line is that emotions other than anger are HIGHLY frowned upon in this house (we were raised like British royalty, just poor). That was QUITE the victory for me.

I also want to point out that she was a "good mom" in other areas-always made sure I had good Christmases, birthdays, all that jazz-in her own really, REALLY odd way I believe she cares for me. She genuinely believed that she was looking out for me by trying to keep me a social recluse. Also wanted to point out she's like, way, WAY against religion, but believes in God, which I find quite lovely. You'll never hear someone denounce "Sunday Christians" (fake Christians) & self-righteous, holier than though assholes like she does. She actually took a good ol' regular Baptist preacher to court for not giving her & my family time enough to move out of their apartment when he purchased the building before he went in while everyone was gone to work & school, threw all of their furniture (and I mean threw, as in broke some stuff) outside, let it rain on it, ruining a brand new t.v. she had just bought. The community was PISSED to say the least & tried every way they could to dissuade her from following through. She couldn't begin to tell me how many people were hung up on, or had a door slammed in their smug faces. She took him to court, won & he paid to replace everything. I wasn't even alive back then, but gosh darn it if I'm not proud of her for it to this day.

 We're better than we were, I have my mom back in my life, but we're so not perfect. She'll never be like what I would assume most people consider a "normal" mom. At the end of it all though, I love her no matter what she does...she's my mom. It's s simple as that, but complex on many levesl as well. That's how it will always be.

[Laina]

Depends. Was the candy bar closer to being stale or fresh?

Slightly stale. More of that in-between stage.

[X]

She actually took a good ol' regular Baptist preacher to court for not giving her & my family time enough to move out of their apartment when he purchased the building before he went in while everyone was gone to work & school, threw all of their furniture (and I mean threw, as in broke some stuff) outside, let it rain on it, ruining a brand new t.v. she had just bought. The community was PISSED to say the least & tried every way they could to dissuade her from following through. She couldn't begin to tell me how many people were hung up on, or had a door slammed in their smug faces. She took him to court, won & he paid to replace everything. I wasn't even alive back then, but gosh darn it if I'm not proud of her for it to this day.

Dude! Your Ma has earned my respect! I'd give this paragraph a thumb's up but that icon doesn't exist... 

[VladCT]

Why not +1 the post? It's pretty much the same thing.

[X]

Done  +1