Topic: My girlfriend is gone forever...

[OdenAndEvil]

I did phone with her yesterday. She told me, she loves me and she will never lose me.
We were sine monday togheter...
I wrote yesterday a sms to her. but she didnt answer anymore. that was around 6pm.
Today, at 8am...her father did call me. he told me...that he did found her yesterday dead...suicide. i, dont know why the hell she did that. She said she loves me. Seh said, she we call me later again. She said we will see us this weekend. why the hell did she do that. i cant belive this. its so fucking unfair. she didnt say bye, not anything at all...
i dont know, what i should do...i dont think i can handle this...

[Jorge D. Fuentes]

Wow, what a bombshell.  Sorry to hear that, dude.
Did it hit you like ton of bricks, or were there signs that there might be something troubling her?

I know I cannot possibly relate, but all I can do is offer my condolences and if there's anything this Forum can do to help put your mind at ease, etc. just let us know.
It must be rough, what you're going through...

[OdenAndEvil]

Im sry that i did write it as i did. i, didnt know what i should do..
its more than that. im so angry and mad at her, but missing her so damn much. i never had to wait more than 10mins of a sms of her. but now...
i cant find the right words...

thank you very much jorge.

[Kale]

Dude... honestly, I don't think there is much anyone can really say.

[KaZudra]

Very sad indeed... Every time I hear this kinda story its always the ones you'd never expect...

[X]

I think I can relate to your girlfriend on some level here. I too have contemplated suicide. For several years in fact. Especially since last Tuesday evening when I had an abrupt case of physical depression erupt out of me unexpectedly. I felt like taking my life right then and there. I kept on saying to myself "I'm done! I'm done!" An uncontrollable gag reflex along with a physical feeling of aging 20 years in three day. I just wanted to end my life because I didn't want to suffer for anything that I didn't like or want. I guess I should feel fortunate that I never went through it. But I can only speak for myself. Your girlfriend wasn't alone on this ride and it is a real shame that she didn't make the choice to open up to you and talk about what was really going on inside of her. My condolences to your loss. I know this isn't the best advice I can give you however do try and keep your chin you, okay?

[Jorge D. Fuentes]

This is a hard issue.

As such, I will ask anyone responding to this thread to please be supporting and understanding.  There are bound to be people who will put criticizing comments, so I ask that those who do that exercise the highest form of tact when responding.

I know how Internet people can get, so I'm keeping an eye out on this thread.

[Mooning Freddy]

I don't know if that helps you in any way if I share my own emotions with you.

I cannot identify with you because what happened to me was not as painful as your experience.
But still, I'd share it.

About a month ago, a guy I knew from my platoon has put an end to his life.
It was a shock for me, and I didn't know how to respond. He was not my friend, so I didn't feel sorrow, mainly shock. I didn't talk to him since I finished my duty, almost a year ago, because, like I said, we were not friends. 

Nevertheless, I liked him. Our last conversation is in my mind, I remember it like it was yesterday.
He was a young soldier, who had a hard time in the platoon. He was not very happy being there, not very happy about being a fighter. When I started my service, I felt the same, and since I was already a senior soldier at the time, I saw it as my duty to support him.

It was late at night, couple of days before my release of duty. I was busy giving out my stuff to younger soldiers. (it's a tradition to pass good military equipment owned by senior soldiers to young ones, who have old equipment) I decided to give my High-quality American coveralls to that young soldier to cheer him up.
He was asleep at that time, doing 3/6 guard duty like many young soldiers. I woke him up and offered to have a chat over an orange drink (no alcohol in the army, obviously). We talked for a while and I explained him how important it is not to see things radically and keep your spirit even in hard times. We laughed a little, shook hands, I handed him the coveralls and returned to the barracks.

Some months later I heard the guy is being sent to Officer's School, to become a military adjutant. I thought it's a shame that he's leaving the platoon, but was happy for him to finally receive the job he wanted. He completed the course well, and became an officer.
I don't know why he decided to end his life. His friends talked of much pressure put on his shoulders, which he could not bear. I guess he was altogether a fragile person. To be an officer, especially in the IDF, one must have nerves of steel. The army is demanding and quite unforgiving towards those who are emotionally weak. 

Life can break us. Staying in shelter may drive you insane, and eventually you must go out to the storm and try to survive it. Just remember you are no alone. People will help you, but in order for them to do so, they must know that you need help. Be strong.

~Freddy~

[OdenAndEvil]

thank you guys. reading this, does help a lil. thanks

[Thy Gory Rory]

My condolences as well. I wish there was more I could say or do to help... but the main thing you should take to heart is that this wasn't your fault. Sometimes people that are dealing with depression issues still have a hard time handling life even though they're surrounded by loved ones and have lots of support. I've known quite a few friends over the years that had similar struggles and sometimes depression really takes over every facet of their life and how they cope with things on a daily basis. It comes down to an emotional or chemical imbalance in the brain and it really isn't your fault. Be well and I hope you find the strength to move on from this tragedy.

[shelverton.]

My nephew drowned two months ago and while it's not the same thing, I can sort of relate. Now, it was an accident and not suicide, but he was drunk and probably wanted to show off for his friends by jumping off a pretty tall structure into a lake. And he died. My whole family has been both shocked and sad but also angry. Why did he have to be so damn stupid? He has no idea what his death did to the rest of us, especially my sister (his mother). Sharing stories like this, even if it's not the same, might help a little. Very sorry for your loss!

[Gunlord]

Brother, I'm so sorry to hear that. Like others have already said, I really wish there was more I could do. Please accept my condolences over your loved one's passing, and both you and her family will be in my thoughts. Like Gory Rory says, please be strong. It may not be much, but you have my support, and I'm sure everyone else's here as well.

[Abnormal Freak]

Dude.

Bro.

Dudebro.

:(

I'm sorry to hear about this. Can't even imagine how that would feel, but I hope the grief doesn't stay with you for a long time. Don't go doing anything damaging out of sadness and desperation; it just causes others to hurt even more.

[OdenAndEvil]

thank you very much guys. its hard to wake up and there is no message of her on my phone.
Its like i dont want accept it know. Im still waiting, she jumping out from nowhere and telling me, its just a bad dumb joke...
Saturday is the funeral. I'm so afraid.

I also feel sry for u guys, who lost someone, of them was very close.

[Jorge D. Fuentes]

I know this is a no-brainer, but you should go, so you can see her one last time and get closure.
I only say this because some people choose not to go, and then they never get that closure and it can be very damaging.