Topic: Life... :(

[Pfil]

Just to see if someone with similar experiences can light my mood a little.
I'm feeling so overwhelmed right now... if it weren't for a little time, mostly on weekends, with games and anime, I don't know what I would do.
So... my parents are divorced, and I really miss my mom, who lives in the city, many miles away. I work at my dad's company in my little town, but he is never home, he's always traveling.
I have a few friends, but the ones I get along better live in the city. The ones who live in the town are not so friends, they are more like company, and they are not how they used to be.
The only company I enjoy is my brother. And there's little time to be alone, between work and responsibilities with my family. I even don't feel like being with friends, I'm just... tired.
My grandmother is sick right now, and my entire family is relying on me to take care of her, and they don't want to spend money on a nurse, though they have it.
I tried talking to everyone in my family, but everyone tries to talk their way out or just smile and be comprehensive but do nothing about it.
I can't say no, now that I am getting along better with my dad, but my grandmother wasn't good with her family all her life, so now no one wants to be near her, and since my house is close to hers, I'm always the one to call for help. That takes away time from work, time from study, and I get behind in everything, so I have to spend extra hours and sometimes going to work without sleeping.
I earn a salary that allows me to travel sometimes, but it's not a very high salary. I mean, it's good because I'm single and I don't have to pay many bills, but I miss my mom, I miss my dear, dear pet, and I already tried living in the city but I couldn't adapt to the crazy life there, and my work is here, anyway, since I'm supposed to inherit my dad's company (I took the place of my grandfather, who used to work here for decades).
I used to meet with a girl (gf) during some travels I made to the mountains, but last weekend she told me by e-mail that it was over, and there's this girl at work who I kind of like, but she isn't into me for obvious reasons. To make things worse, I was kind of falling for my friend (the one I met during my travels), but it seems she just saw me as a travel company for fun.
Because I'm now taking care of my grandmother and work got harder these last months, I can't get enough time to study, and this december I'm afraid I'm going to the N3 japanese exam and fail it. And it's not cheap, either.
Wherever I look at, there's problems, and I can't seem to find a solution or a way out to any of them.
Anyway, thanks for staying until the end of the read and lending me a friendly eye to find out about my problems.
I try to hang in there, to stay strong, to have faith, but there's a limit to everything and I feel I'm falling apart.
I hope I'll be in a better mood in weeks to come.

[X]

It's hard living such a life. We all have our own crosses to bare. And unfortunately most of life sucks serious s**t too. The only real thing I can tell you is try and stay strong. Not for anyone else, but for yourself. In your life YOU are the number 1 priority. Everyone else in your life is secondary, even spiritual masters will tell you that. Just try and keep you're chin up okay? None of us are anywhere near each other, but the internet does make it that much more easier. You have friendly ears here at the dungeon and we'll listen to each other's plights when the going gets tough. Have a cookie on me 

[Ratty]

*hugs* Hang in there, you're still young and healthy. Just keep your eyes open and searching for what YOU want. Take care of yourself and I hope you feel better soon. I know it feels overwhelming but you're gonna be alright.

[Inccubus]

Well, I can certainly understand some of what you're going through. I take care of my mom. All I can say is this...
If there is one thing life has taught me is that worrying about things I can't change is a waste of time. Also, sometime it's good to concentrate one the task at hand and not pay too much attention to the big picture so much. So just take one day at a time always give yourself a little time for yourself even if it's just a few minutes a day.

EDIT: damn ninja'd  twice!!

[Mooning Freddy]

We all have our tough times. Strangely enough, my tough times are when I've got nothing to do, not when I have too much to do.
Like, right now I want to work but I have too little time before the next semester starts and nobody would hire me. It's not like I really need money, I just need something useful to do. I am torn between two cities, most (almost all) of my friends live in the one city and my university is there, while my parents live in another city and I've grown so used to living in my parents' house and neighborhood that I don't feel very comfortable anymore in my apartment in the other city, where my grandparents live.

Now my grandparents, I really love them, but as I grow older I feel less admiration for them and I'm becoming more impatient towards them. My grandmother is the bossy type who always thinks she knows everything better than anyone and she believes all that bulls**t she reads in magazines and on TV. When I come to visit her she constantly tells me what to do and I find myself politely ignoring her. She used to be the principal of a huge kindergarten in USSR and now that she is practically a housewife and doesn't work the boredom isn't doing her good.  My grampa is a good, diligent and smart man, and I suppose if I lived in his time we could be good friends (I have his blood after all), but he's got quite a short temper and often can't stand his wife's bossy behavior, which leads very often to arguments between them. Grandma says she hates him but they are way too old to live alone. Me and my grandpa have long interesting conversations but recently he's trying to hook me up with the daughter of his friend, who's a nice girl I suppose, but isn't my type.

I don't know. My life isn't really in order either, although in recent years I made many friends who make it easier. I am sometimes jealous of other people's success, thinking, "that could be me". But I am what I am, and there's still the future ahead.
Maybe this will cheer you up:

Live is Life - Opus

[Pfil]

Thanks everyone...
Today was one of those hard days, I was feeling so empty... thanks for your kind words.

[Belmontoya]

I can relate to the overworked part. I barely have time to sleep. And I feel like an empty shell.

[Dark Nemesis]

I can understand what you are going through, since i have lost my father and i'm nursing my mother, but the worst thing for me is that i don't have a job and sitting only makes me nervous. I have many bad thoughts crossing my mind, but i'm not going to succumb to them. The only thing left for me, is the hope for a better tomorrow, most of my friends have gone to other cities or even left the country and the ones left here, they are working all day and i can only see them at weekend and sometimes not all of them. So, my advise is stay strong for your self, because no one else is going to worry about you and keep in touch with the friends you have like brothers and sisters to help you stay mentally strong.

[Shiroi Koumori]

You can do it Pfil. At least you are healthy, unlike me.
Take things one at a time. Doing all of them at the same time is too overwhelming.
You may want to stop doing unnecessary stuff in the meantime in order to focus on things that demand more attention.

[Lelygax]

ALIVE

I wished to say something good right now, but I can't. My parents are divorced, my dad sent me out of the house that I lived all my days (after I choosing to stay at this house with him when they divorced, its even more hard to me in this position). Im in my grandpa's house with my mother, but its a mess here, discussions and more discussions. Also I've saw my grandma (mother of my dad) die in front of me, since we discovered that she never woke up after this day at the hospital, he started sleeping minutes before we exited his room, I thought she would be better, but things aren't always like we want right?

I've gone yesterday to a clinic only to feel mocked by a medic psychiatrist that written in a paper that I only have problems with anxiety when myself knows that its not something so simple like that, but even trying to say more things to him bothered me, since he doesnt even tried to pay attention.

Yeah, Im enduring a hell very similar with your, but for a long long long long long time and its not getting very better, it only seems to worse. When it gets better I prepare myself because I know it gets even worser a time later.

You've a job, money, you can see your grandma whenever you want and knows how to walk in the city (where each bus take you, how to return, etc.) so you have a lot of chances.


I will leave music named 'Life" here also, since its coincidence
Life

[DoctaMario]

One thing that I've noticed about some older people is that if they're in pain or they're sick, they tend to snap at people because of it. I don't know if that's the case with you guys Pfil and Freddy, but that might account for some of the nastiness. Either way, I'm glad I'm not the only one who's had a rough go of things lately. *group hug*

[Pfil]

Oh Lely I'm sorry to hear about your situation
Let's try to have fun here, and you can always rely on playing games or watching anime or movies to disconnect yourself from the real world. I've done it almost my entire life.
I wish money would make a difference, but it doesn't. I would give away in exchange my dad's company which I'm supposed to inherit just to have my mom and pet living again with me and my brother, and that simple life I used to have when I was younger, and when enjoying holidays with my family several times a year was a constant escape from high school problems and complexes. Especially that marvelous holidays I'm condemned to remember forever as the pinnacle of my life.
"The pain now is part of the happiness then" (C. S. Lewis).

Sadly, Docta, that is the case. My grandma is very bad to people who help her, especially to me (well, and my brother, but she is to everyone). She talks like I'm not the one who's helping, but like I'm the guilty of the state she's now.
And I'm a little short tempered, so when I sometimes answer back, things only get worse.

But that's not the only problem. I miss my mom, I miss my pet, I recently lost love when I thought I was finding it again, and I'm exhausted, fearing always not to have my works delivered in time or not reaching the level I need in order to pass my japanese exam in december. I even started to feel physical consequences to the stress.

By the way, I noticed you said that Lely's real name is Freddy?
Freddy is a nice name! Queen is my favourite band, ever! 

[Lelygax]

My name is not Freedy, I think he was talking with "Mooning Freddy". xD

[Pfil]

Oh, sorry for my mistake 

[Bloodreign]

My mom's old and cranky, but she's always been snappy, I find in my older age I get cranky more as well. It's just part of life.

But as someone once told me, if you wake up that day, be happy you did and enjoy life.