Author [EN] [PL] [ES] [PT] [IT] [DE] [FR] [NL] [TR] [SR] [AR] [RU] [ID] Topic: Classic guy mistakes  (Read 5872 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Gunlord

  • Wandering Mendicant
  • Global Moderator
  • Master Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 2724
  • Gender: Male
  • Meow.
  • Awards Capable of resolving arguments/fights peacefully without mod/admin intervention. Permanent Resident: Seems to always be around to post/reply. Master Debater: Gracefully argues 'til the cows come home about topics.
    • My blog
    • Awards
  • Favorite Game: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (PS1/SS)
  • Likes:
Re: Classic guy mistakes
« Reply #15 on: November 27, 2014, 07:04:04 AM »
0
She just sounds like she has a super sensitive personality. It may be something impossible to change that you're just gonna have to live with :/

Check me out at gunlord500.wordpress.com!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phhCrFZek44

Offline X

  • Xenocide
  • Master Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 9361
  • Gender: Male
  • Awards SuperOld Dungeonite: Members who have been around since the oldOLD days. The Unfazed: Never loses his/her calm, even in the most heated arguments. The Retro Gamer: Has a heated passion for the oldschool VG Titles.
    • Awards
  • Favorite Game: Super Castlevania IV (SNES)
  • Likes:
Re: Classic guy mistakes
« Reply #16 on: November 27, 2014, 10:11:51 AM »
0
You might have to be up-front with her about her attitude. If you plan on waiting until she makes the first move then you should tell her right there when the time comes. Catching her off-guard so she might listen then. Probably not the best advice I know, however I really don't see another way you can confront her about her emotional snippets. I'm a super sensitive person myself however I do try to make the effort to properly govern my emotions. It's easier when you're a guy cause you also have that logical side to help reason things out. And believe me I can be very hard on myself if there's something about me that happens that I don't like nor approve of. You might have to take the painful road if all else fails to get through to her. There are some relationships that have become much, much stronger due to conflict, surprisingly enough. However nobody is the same inside so that's never a guarantee. Just do what you feel you have to do.
"Spirituality is God's gift to humanity...
Religion is Man's flawed interpretation of Spirituality given back to humanity..."

Offline TheouAegis

  • Amateur Auteur of GMvania
  • Master Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 1860
  • Gender: Male
  • Awards The Retro Gamer: Has a heated passion for the oldschool VG Titles. The Great Defender will always defend the object of his or her fandom. Hack Master makes creations out of CV parts. (S)he makes Dr. Frankenstein proud.
    • GMvania Developer's Blog
    • Awards
  • Likes:
Re: Classic guy mistakes
« Reply #17 on: November 27, 2014, 10:24:10 AM »
0
They develop these gland things, ... then BWOOSH!


I'm lucky, I get to be a dick to my girlfriend. She is a big, big girl, but she makes me happy when I'm around her. She might just be settling for a dick because she thinks she can't get anything better, but I make her feel loved. She can handle a dick. She hates when I gripe about spending money, but then again I have a good credit rating and she doesn't, and she has outstanding bills while I'm paid up in full., so I get to complain about spending money. But then I spend more on her because I love her. I haven't made any money in 2 months!

 The point is, what do you DO for your gf? You can be a total dick and a girl will find it charming if you make her feel loved enough the rest of the time.

You also need to work on tact. Calling a girl's hair plain is like calling her ass big or boobs small. A lot of guys can get away with that because they have tact. Your girl probably does more with her hair than you realize, so you basically told her she doesn't do enough. You have to turn it into a game or medical concern.
If it's some aspect of her you don't like, amorous jesting can help you cope with it if done right. For example, if a girl has a huge, ugly ass - spank it, say something like, "look at that big ass," and growl, then go down and bite it. Do that enough times and you'll start to like that big ass.  Or play with her love-handles and call them YOUR love-handles. But if it's something like that and it really bothers you, tell her you aren't really into girls with those attributes but you love her too much to let it get between her and your heart. (careful though, that's a hard one to pull off).

Have more sex, too, but not as a routine. If you do it often, do it less often but don't ignore her. My girl and I do it twice a month in a hotel, occasionally though I get her off in the car to keep her primed. I had great sex every day with my last serious girlfriend, but I'm happier with plain bimonthly sex with my current gal and she looks forward to our hotel excursions.

Part of that could just be our age. My last serious gf was 22, this one now is 33. (Im 34, by the way.) That's a huge difference in age. The 22 yr old was way mire immature than any girl I've been with and one of the things I decided was to not go after young girls anymore even though they are so fun in the sack. Granted, some girls act like women and some women act like girls, but generally before 26 they are immature. Girls like that don't understand men because they lack the experience, just like you lack experience with girls. If your issue is just age and experience, about all you can do is ride it out or flirt with other girls. Don't dump her unless you find someone that actually makes you happier, but neither of you are going to grow interrelationally together on your own unless you both make efforts.

And if she's pretty, she already has 2 or 3 guys ready to snatch her up, while you wouldn't have any prospects because you are damaged goods. Even my gal has guys wanting to snag her from me, so yours would definitely have no problem finding another guy. That's why I say don't dump her, but flirt under the radar if you are going to spread your wings.
Your mom has had more floppies put in her than a Commodore 64!


Follow my lack of progress on my game at my blog:
http://gmvania.blogspot.com

Offline Mooning Freddy

  • The scent of my butt will set your soul wandering for eternity!
  • Master Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 1644
  • Gender: Male
  • I simply love children.
  • Awards The Pervert: Sneaks in any and all innuendo into threads that he/she can. Permanent Resident: Seems to always be around to post/reply. Master Debater: Gracefully argues 'til the cows come home about topics.
    • Awards
  • Likes:
Re: Classic guy mistakes
« Reply #18 on: November 27, 2014, 11:11:13 AM »
0
We love each other a lot, and are in quite an advanced stage of a relationship I would say, and this is why it hurts me that she starts arguments over the most minor things, like once she got really mad after I interrupted her while we were having a conversation and she was talking to her mother. I realize that it was rude but she totally overreacted.
Now, she's not the kind of person who would be like "why have you left the toilet seat up?" or any girly crap like that. She's not bothered if my room is messed up or anything like that. And she's very 'logical', X, she's studying philosophy and would most of the time discuss politics, economy and science. And this is why I am amazed every time by how sensitive she is once you really get to know her, like this anime-woman stereotype who's really tough on the outside but on the inside is emotional like a little girl.

I am definitely not going to dump her; we have gone through too many stages in the relationship to give it up because of petty argument. But those petty argument throw me back every time, reminding me that I do not truly understand her even though I think I do. Her over-sensitivity is like a big rock that pulls me down every time. I need to always remember that it's there, not allowing me to be honest and say what I really think.
"Yes, I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available, because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."
~Charlie Sheen

Offline Dracula9

  • That One Guy
  • Master Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 2417
  • Gender: Male
  • Blargh
  • Awards 2015-01-Music Contest Gold Prize 2014-12-Music Contest Gold Prize 2014-11-November FinalBoss Sprite Contest 2nd Place Winner A great musician and composer of various melodies both original and game-based. 2018-06 Sprite Contest First Place
    • Awards
  • Favorite Game: Super Castlevania IV (SNES)
  • Likes:
Re: Classic guy mistakes
« Reply #19 on: November 27, 2014, 11:26:34 PM »
0
Personally, it sounds to me like you're both too concerned with who's right in the situation. I'm not taking sides, because I don't know her side from her own mouth, but it seems that there's a lack of communication and/or mutual respect in certain areas.

ThouAegis covered the rest of what I was gonna say (the "it's not really what you're saying so much as how you're saying it" bits), and better than I could have since he's got experience I lack.


Trøllabundin eri eg, inn í hjartarót.

Offline Mooning Freddy

  • The scent of my butt will set your soul wandering for eternity!
  • Master Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 1644
  • Gender: Male
  • I simply love children.
  • Awards The Pervert: Sneaks in any and all innuendo into threads that he/she can. Permanent Resident: Seems to always be around to post/reply. Master Debater: Gracefully argues 'til the cows come home about topics.
    • Awards
  • Likes:
Re: Classic guy mistakes
« Reply #20 on: November 28, 2014, 10:20:06 AM »
0
So I kinda straitened things out with her, reached an agreement in which I promised that I would not say anything about her which may be perceived as bad, and she promised to try and not get offended as much by rubbish.
"Yes, I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available, because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."
~Charlie Sheen

Offline X

  • Xenocide
  • Master Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 9361
  • Gender: Male
  • Awards SuperOld Dungeonite: Members who have been around since the oldOLD days. The Unfazed: Never loses his/her calm, even in the most heated arguments. The Retro Gamer: Has a heated passion for the oldschool VG Titles.
    • Awards
  • Favorite Game: Super Castlevania IV (SNES)
  • Likes:
Re: Classic guy mistakes
« Reply #21 on: November 28, 2014, 05:56:59 PM »
0
You should also remind her that a promise is a sacred form of trust that she cannot break. That is the one thing many people in today's society don't understand or don't care to. I never go back on my promises cause I'll know that if I do, I would have betrayed the one I've made the promise to and could never again be trusted. We're only human but I look at a promise as something that is not of human nature, but of the divine. Just like love.
"Spirituality is God's gift to humanity...
Religion is Man's flawed interpretation of Spirituality given back to humanity..."

Offline zangetsu468

  • Master Hunter
  • *****
  • Posts: 3128
  • God bless the hustler, curse the first sleeper
    • Awards
  • Favorite Game: Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia (NDS)
  • Likes:
Re: Classic guy mistakes
« Reply #22 on: December 08, 2014, 09:47:34 PM »
0
OP, I hope things work out for you guys.

To the previous poster, why would you stay with an attractive woman simply out of fear of other guys nabbing her? If you're both in something for the right reasons, you should know that woman will not want anyone else.
The last thing she'll be thinking about after a break up is the next guy to shack up with. Sometimes relationships start this way, but there has to be precedents/ foundations set for this to happen. i.e. a friend, someone at work that she knows and trusts a lot etc.
It's also wrong to stay with someone out of fear of your own loneliness, because they're obviously willingly choosing you, but you're in there, not really caring and taking away their chance of happiness with someone who could potentially care about that person and love them in ways you can't - or won't.

OP,

She sounds sensitive and a bit insecure, but this is not abnormal for a girl in her 20's. Things change when people are in their 30's. They've made mistakes, they're more secure etc.

However, the fact you take her reactions so much to heart is also showing that you're probably sensitive too. Guess what, when people get together, they generally look for someone who matched their level (or there abouts) of insecurity. Maybe deep down she needs that, she needs you to grow because she is self conscious. Maybe she needs this because if she is insecure she wouldn't believe a guy that told her she was beautiful every day and never picked at her looks.

It's great if you guys can work through it. All the best.



<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<[Judgement]>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

                              
                **<<<<<SuperCVIV>COTM<<<<<<<<+
                                 ^      l   v  ^    v                 ^
                                 ^      l   v  ^    +<<<<<<<BE
                                 ^      l   v  ^    v                 ^  
                                 ^      l   v  ^    v     BE>>> VK<**   
                                 ^      l   v  ^    v     ^          ^   
            +<<<<<Legends>HC>OOS>LOD>64       ^
            v                           l              ^                ^
            v                           l     BE>> * <<<BE    RE
            v                           l      ^               ^       ^
LOI>CVIII>COD>AR>BR>CVC>CVII>HOD>ROB>SOTN>OOE>BL>POR>AOS>DOS>>>KD
                                                                          v
                                                                         BE>*  
BE=Bad Ending
RE=Richter Ending

Offline Anglachel

  • Vampire Hunter
  • ***
  • Posts: 239
  • Gender: Male
    • Awards
  • Favorite Game: Castlevania: Circle of the Moon (GBA)
  • Likes:
Re: Classic guy mistakes
« Reply #23 on: December 09, 2014, 09:45:38 AM »
0
My first girlfriend sounded similar to this, and (although I don't know if I can apply this to this lady) I realize now what her problem is: narcissism.
"There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds." - G.K. Chesterton

Tags: