Yeah, I think I just expect too much out of people, but I refuse to believe I need to lower my standards just to be accepted by society.
I never had anyone stood me up like that before in my entire life. That was a really shitty feeling and I was pissed.
Ah man, I feel you. My life is not as f**ked as yours, but the ending of the year for my was the biggest shock that I had in a while. Maybe if I share it would make you feel better (doesn't do it for me hearing about other people's misfortune but it's good to share).
As you might have heard I broke up with the lady I was in a relationship with for a year and a half. In retrospect, I admit that it was the right thing to do as we would have to break up eventually because we had totally different goals in life. I wanted marriage, a family and to consider having children, she was very career-focused, didn't believe in marriage and combining an intense career with raising children. Also we had quite different approaches to raising children.
Despite the fact I acknowledge the relationship has reached a breaking point, I still think today that perhaps I was an idiot because I was unable to break up with her despite not being okay with her choices in life. But the relationship was really fun and enjoyable while it lasted; it just didn't lead anywhere; which I guess made me quite bitter, cold and somewhat unhappy and I think ultimately lead to her being unhappy and dumping me.
The second plan that I had for the year came crashing down; I planned to study in the country of my ex and live with her for a year. Deep inside I guess something made me feel it's not really going to happen; which made me irresponsible and so I screwed up my visa request documents and got my visa rejected; leading me to have no choice but postpone my studies till next year.
Now I'm left in my country, working in a reasonably fun job, earning a nice wage. Had two dates, both of which ended in failure. I could elaborate more if you want to hear. Still keeping my hopes up and optimistic.
Girls on dating sites are total shit. I don't understand it. There were girl who gave me likes but didn't respond to my messages. WTF? Why did you "like" me then? The vast majority of girls that I messaged didn't respond. And it's weird. I'm quite a handsome, nice guy.
Then there were the few ones who responded to some of my messages, then disappeared. What the hell, girls? Why did you talk to me in the first place? At least have the courage to say "I found someone else" or something. Then there was the one bitch who said "intrigue me". I said "okay" and told her this and that, and asked her some questions about herself. Then she said "sorry, that's not interesting". Well, f**k you then! I'm having a conversation with you, I'm not here to entertain you! ugh. Such garbage.
I am brand spanking new to the online dating scene. But I think I got most of them OKCupid, Coffee Meets Bagel,Tinder and I grabbed Instagram because alot of chicks use it.
I been casually trying to meet people at the gym now, but I am wary about that as I really go there to work out not to meet chicks and I don't want to be that guy. I start school again in a few days so I will be reaching out there too of course.
But honestly, from what I have been exposed too most uber hot girls are interested in guys that do drugs (namely weed) or likes to hang out the bar scene and drink at every social interaction.
For a guy like me who is pretty straight edged that's a no go for me and seeing hot women at the gym I think obviously these women care enough about themselves to maintain a level of dedication so they must have the potential to have their shit together.
I am not a bad looking guy,every serious relationship I have been in has been with dimes,but I have kind of realized I am not looking for that at this point in my life right now especially since the few serious relationships that I have had both went down in a blaze of glory. To include my last one.
But whatever the case, I have been slowly reverting to my way of thinking after doing some study and readings before I got married to my ex-wife. It's still super hard man as this is 8 years later and of course alot has changed in the past couple of years in the dating scene.
The only chicks that basically throw themselves at me now (since my physical appearance has changed dramatically the last couple of years) are heavy chicks. I am not shallow but that doesn't work for me. I am not attracted to that and honestly it looks desperate to me. It's like, I'm not God's gift but I wouldn't throw myself at a super model without (at least in my eyes) not meeting or exceeding what someone with that stature may be expecting from a potential suitor.
As for the average 8.5-10 scale chicks that I may be interested in they do a great job of hiding the fact if they are interested in me and I am a nerd so I don't notice these things even when I make an attempt to show interested like trying to make eye contact things like that.
I also am cursed for some reason to always give off this potential boyfriend/husband vibe even if I am not acting flirty or suggestive so automatically a woman has her woman defense systems up. Fuck being that nice friend you just end up listening to all her problems in her relationship (been there) and that's like putting oil in a car that's already wrecked.
Anyhow, I feel like this stage in my life. I just need a hot f8ck buddy who doesn't mind chilling out and someone to talk to and share mutual interests. If it goes past that into a relationship that's cool too, but it's not something I am ready for just yet.
Honestly this is the first time in my life I am not really sure where I am going or what to do.
But make no mistake, I am not about to play these dating games with "entitled" women. All these rules and shit, I just want to be myself. I am what I am. That's been the most frustrating part right now.
As low as you guys got shafted (and believe me I feel for you both) at least you were given the chance to experience romance or relationships. I have no such luck in my life. I'm the quintessential outcast of society. 36 years old and still have no-one to share anything with. Never given the chance. At all. And believe me 2015 was the worst I felt as my bodily functions were screaming for me to get it on with a woman. All I could tell myself was this: "Not going to happen body, deal with it. The women don't see you in that way. They never have and can't be bothered to do-so now. You're a loser. Just like the f@#ked up, broken down, outdated school system wanted you to be." Yeah... I'm glad I'm not a military dictator or a corrupt leader cause then everyones' heads would roll
Other then that, the other thing that is f@#king stupid about 2015 is we still don't have hover conversion for cars, boards, etc. or even Mr Fusion to permanently retire all those outdated fossil fuels we're still (unfortunately) using. We should have had those a looooong time ago.
As for you X. You sound like me a lifetime ago. It's going to suck for you as I hate it (even now)you have to get some notes that work through trial and error and approach all the women you are interested in first.
I know it sucks, because (and I fucking hate it) you are putting yourself out there first as well as the terrifying thought of being humiliated or rejected. But you have to train yourself to get through that, at least if doesn't go exactly as planned at least you can tell yourself you at least made the effort to seal a deal.