Castlevania Dungeon Forums
The Castlevania Dungeon Forums => General Castlevania Discussion => Topic started by: uzo on November 05, 2010, 09:37:41 PM
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Fore-note; I do not hate IGA nor Cox, and this idea merely presented itself as a humorous meeting between the two utilizing the tried and true DIE MONSTER routine.
Cox: Die monster! You don't belong in this franchise!
IGA: It was not by my hand I was once again given budget. I was called here by FANS, wishing to pay ME money.
Cox: MONEY?! You steal mens franchises and make them your cash cows!
IGA: The same could be said of all producers...
Cox: Your words are as empty as your level design. Castlevania fans ill need a producer such as you.
IGA: WHAT IS A FAN?! A miserable little pile of income! But enough talk, RECYCLE THESE SPRITES!
IGA then summons three rondo sprite skeletons, that dance around, and if not attacked for 20 seconds will throw a single slow bone for 1hp of damage.
IGA: Play time's over! Grant, me, SEQUELS!
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*cue the cheesy jap rock*
Cox: (SCREAMS)
Cox lunges his Combat Cross into IGA, initializing a QTE, but IGA pulls out a Gameplay Gimmick, but it's too underdeveloped! They tumble down a hallway, greased and smothered in cleaning products that turn them saturated and baroque. But then they fall off a sudden cliff. A few seconds of confusion come about, and Cox is seen alone, shimmying along the edge, grunting his heart out. He looks up and there is a chupacabra. It stomps on his foot and he falls. There is silence.
Castlevania is dead.
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*cue the cheesy jap rock*
Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin - Invitation of a Crazed Moon (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XeKqwBDS1s#)
For some reason the first thing that popped in my head. Dunno why. Oh well.
;D
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Fanboy: IGA!
IGA: That voice... Fanboy its you.
Fanboy: I'm coming IGA. I'll save you.
IGA: No fanboy. Don't come here.
Fanboy: But IGA.
IGA: Its alright. If my leaving can save others, I'd gladly surrender my franchise.
Fanboy: IGA no! Please no!
IGA: Yes fanboy, watch me get fired, and remember always my last words to you.
Fanboy: Yes IGA.
IGA: You must despise fans. They are to be your prey.
Fanboy: What?!
IGA: Better for them to argue over the new art style then to let them bitch about the level design. Begin by taking the money from that one, over there.
Fanboy: No, it wasn't like this.
IGA: What's wrong? Fanboy.
Fanboy: IGA never said such a thing.
IGA: What do you mean? Recycle sprites and bring them happiness.
Fanboy: No! You're not IGA. What kind of producer are you?!
The possibilities are endless.
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IGA: WHAT IS A FAN?! A miserable little pile of income! But enough talk, RECYCLE THESE SPRITES!
I cried. Almost. :D
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Yamane: Wait a moment, you seem like a composer and yet, what do you here?
Aroujo: I've come to destroy this OST.
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Yamane: Wait a moment, you seem like a composer and yet, what do you here?
Aroujo: I've come to destroy this OST.
LOL!
This thread is great ;D
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*Jose Luis Vaello throws Ayami Kojima out the building*
Kojima: But I work and live here!
Vaello Read the sign lady, it say's No pretty boy vampires and vampire hunter artwork allowed! It's all testosterone and manly artwork in this bitch! It's a he man pretty boy haters club going on so you might wanna catch a cab cause were gonna be UP. ALL NIIIGHT!
*Door slams*
*Start's raining*
*Hideo Kojima drives by in a strech hummer limo and throws a pie at her face and shouts out the moonroof*
Kojima H:DID YOU RIKE IT!?
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But maybe they all love each other...
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Cox taunt:
"I'm going to reboot your ass so hard, [creative maternal insult]!"
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Fan: Its strange. This franchise is different then I remember it.
Cox: This franchise is a creature of chaos. It may take many incarnations.
Fan: I can't trust my memories huh?
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(http://growabrain.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2009/01/01/lol_cats.jpg)
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You guys can try to make it with the quotes from Lords of Shadow trailers too.
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You guys are too funny. I just can't stop LMAO.
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Araujo: "What do these fucks mean, 'Hans Zimmer isn't real music?'"
Yamane: "What you need is to take something out of my Big Bag of Stock Arpeggios. Patent Pending."
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IGA: There is no resurrection! Only this God of War-clone you see before you!
Cox: Poor IGA, you will cry bloody tears before my game has ended.
IGA: Go back whence you came! Trouble the soul of my franchise no more!
Cox: Do not hate Mercury Steam. If you cannot live with them, then at least do them no harm. For theirs is already a hard lot.
IGA: I'll kill you AND Mercury Steam!
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Haha, that's an aweosme one.
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IGA: Ah, Dave Cox, what is your business here?
COX: I've come to put an end to this recycling of those same damn 17-year old sprites.
IGA: How can you say that?! Those are a sacred gift! Even the Jericho developer's budget is bigger than mine!
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COX: Ah, sarcasm. For what profit is it to a series if it gains a bigger budget but loses its own fan base? Iga 16:26 I Believe...
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KONAMI: The 3DS is a powerful device.
IGA: Can it really bring me back?
KONAMI: You are a good producer, IGA. You are as Konami intended.
IGA: I've done questionable games...
KONAMI: Yes, to our lasting shame. But we shed those poor level designers, never again will we use them.
IGA: It is not your place to judge the worth of level designers!
KONAMI: You have ever been the ally of level designers! Have you forgotten what they did to your Portrait of Ruin?
IGA: The blood that flows through my veins is cursed. 'Twould be best if I were to disappear forever.
(IGA goes to Mercury Steam HQ)
IGA: Show yourself Cox! I know you're in there!
HIDEO: Cox doesn't like visitors.. but I'll tell you where he is.... if.. you.. PLAY!
(Hideo hands over a copy of Castlevania Lords of Shadow to IGA)
IGA: You side against me…for the sake of Mercury Steam? Mercury Steam are not worth the air they breathe! What motivates a top video game producer to confront a spanish video game developer that most of us would run from???
HIDEO: The answer, is..... MONEY! :D
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LMAO
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KONAMI: The 3DS is a powerful device.
IGA: Can it really bring me back?
KONAMI: You are a good producer, IGA. You are as Konami intended.
IGA: I've done questionable games...
KONAMI: Yes, to our lasting shame. But we shed those poor level designers, never again will we use them.
IGA: It is not your place to judge the worth of level designers!
KONAMI: You have ever been the ally of level designers! Have you forgotten what they did to your Portrait of Ruin?
IGA: The blood that flows through my veins is cursed. 'Twould be best if I were to disappear forever.
(IGA goes to Mercury Steam HQ)
IGA: Show yourself Cox! I know you're in there!
HIDEO: Cox doesn't like visitors.. but I'll tell you where he is.... if.. you.. PLAY!
(Hideo hands over a copy of Castlevania Lords of Shadow to IGA)
IGA: You side against me…for the sake of Mercury Steam? Mercury Steam are not worth the air they breathe! What motivates a top video game producer to confront a spanish video game developer that most of us would run from???
HIDEO: The answer, is..... MONEY! :D
This was awesome.
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Uzo, shelverton.
Thanks for the laughs. ;D
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KONAMI: The 3DS is a powerful device.
IGA: Can it really bring me back?
KONAMI: You are a good producer, IGA. You are as Konami intended.
IGA: I've done questionable games...
KONAMI: Yes, to our lasting shame. But we shed those poor level designers, never again will we use them.
IGA: It is not your place to judge the worth of level designers!
KONAMI: You have ever been the ally of level designers! Have you forgotten what they did to your Portrait of Ruin?
IGA: The blood that flows through my veins is cursed. 'Twould be best if I were to disappear forever.
(IGA goes to Mercury Steam HQ)
IGA: Show yourself Cox! I know you're in there!
HIDEO: Cox doesn't like visitors.. but I'll tell you where he is.... if.. you.. PLAY!
(Hideo hands over a copy of Castlevania Lords of Shadow to IGA)
IGA: You side against me…for the sake of Mercury Steam? Mercury Steam are not worth the air they breathe! What motivates a top video game producer to confront a spanish video game developer that most of us would run from???
HIDEO: The answer, is..... MONEY! :D
LOL, that's what I'm talking about! Thanks.
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COX: Where can I find him?
FAN 1: Don't make me stay here, I will die.
COX: I have come to reboot this franchise. Where is IGA?
FAN 2: Do not look into the death star or you will die.
COX: ...What?
*Yamane walks in*
YAMANE: Let's live here together.
*Cox backs away, only to bump into IGA*
COX: Uhhh...
IGA: I told you after Castlevania not to return.
COX: Die monster!
*Cox whips IGA in the stomach, felling him, and IGA vomits a bone into Cox's hand.*
FAN 1: The morning sun has vanquished the horrible night!
FAN 2: You now prossess IGA's Rib!
COX: What a horrible night to have a curse...
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LOL! Geez! all you guys're just pulling out the stops on this one! ;D
-X
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Kojima approaching Cox after his initial presentation of LoS.
"You like Castlevania, don't you...?"
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Yamane: Wait a moment, you seem like a composer and yet, what do you here?
Aroujo: I've come to destroy this OST.
LOL irl
That was funny.