Brotha Kyo: You know, I kinda want to feel bad for the [Capcom] producers, more so than the [Ninja Theory] producers, because they don't seem to have confidence in this project anymore.
Szponder: At this point, I think Capcom is just wasting money.
Brotha Kyo: Honestly, even though it seems there's "some" effort being put into its gameplay to make up for its shortcomings (And that's A LOT), something doesn't seem right. Picky DMC fan? I'm allowed to fucking be after enjoying the series for so long. Basically all I got from the interview were "dodging issues", "Cannot say. Cannot say. The fans WANT this." and the interviewer on his part just seemed to.... skip questions that WERE important. Alex Jones has nice showmanship towards the end though. Notably, Tameem is absent. Smart move on Cap's part really.
Original Outcast: Based on observation Ninja Theory is starting to act more like the film Industry where being a dick and selling out is favored over giving a shit about what fans like.
Harrington: The crew really has dead, soul-less eyes.
Brotha Kyo: (to Outcast) That's really nothing new with them.I'll give them HS, but I don't care for Enslaved nor the GODAWFUL Kung Fu Chaos. (to Harrington) They just thirst for your soul, bro.
Harrington: Dude man, look at his foot twitch. He is deer-in-headlights afraid. He knows he is FUCKED.
Brotha Kyo: Yeah I couldn't help but re-focus at that twitching leg. In all fairness though? After being in an interview and associated with Tameem, wouldn't YOU be a little nervous if someone wanted to get at you for associating with an ego-maniac? I mean, Team Ninja in example....
Harrington: Naw man, he wants to say SOMETHING. You can see him actually bite his lip at times. I think it is something like "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I know I fucked up. I can't do shit now. The contracts are signed. FUCK!"
Brotha Kyo: I'm genuinely trying not to laugh out loud right now.
Szponder: You should have seen the actual youtube live feed. The sidebar was just basically trashing DmC. Many "Why did you ruin the DmC series?" and at the point of them going "Let's take some questions." You know he was looking for non-negative comments. LOL I was there.
Original Outcast: (to Harrington) I bet that was how the cast of Transformers 2 felt when Michael Bay was in charge. haha
Claimh Solais: I dunno. Tameem may cry actually sounds DECENT. The whole origin story of how Tameem Sparda came to accepting his darkside sounds pretty interesting.
Brotha Kyo: (to Szponder) Oh MAN, I think you were telling me about that. Jeez, the internet gets mad fast. (to Claimh) Now, that's just the worst idea for a Linkin Park video game. ....Linkin Parkour?
Claimh Solais: I think this is just a story of how Tameem wishes his life was. :P
Brotha Kyo: ^SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-WHAT-THE-FUCK-CAPCOM-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-SELF-INSERT-LOL-
Claimh Solais: Hey, if I had the power to make a video game of myself looking like a badass--- Okay, I wouldn't do it. There are better things for me to be doing.
Szponder: Tameem reminds me of those hipsters before hipsters were known as hipsters. You know those clubs/joints where they say poetry and are full of themselves? I don't know the actual name of it. LOL
Brotha Kyo: (to Claimh) Oh, you should by all means. Just, don't do it if you're making the next Castlevania and you happen to CLAIM that's Simon Belmont. (to Szponder) Beatniks? Nah, those people actually HAVE my respect so it can't be that.
Szponder: Yeah, beatniks. Haha. I guess you're right.
Claimh Solais: I'm going to put myself in Castlevania. And claim I'm Simon Belmont. And then claim that the dude next door that looks cool is Dracula.
Szponder: (to Kyo) So how come you didn't put yourself in your game? Oh wait, cuz you're not full of yourself.
Brotha Kyo: (to Claimh) YOU SURE THAT'S SIMON?! HE'S WEARING EVERYDAY CLOTHING... IS THIS 2011?! KONAMI WHAT THE FUCK? (to Szponder) And what's wrong with a black Strider Hiryu?!
Shiro: Shiro doesn't even know what the hell he's doing there.
Claimh Solais: Better yet, I'll make the Dracula the Pope.
Brotha Kyo: That sounds like a reasonable believable plot! Is this a reboot? rebirth? Sequel, prequel, give me something to work with here.
Claimh Solais: No, this is no reboot. No rebirth. It's just a remake of the first game. It's what fans have been asking for.
Szponder: They called it "rebirth". WTF does that even mean? No one even uses that word in the gaming industry!
Claimh Solais: Fail attempt at spelling reboot I guess.
Brotha Kyo: Ah, true! And so what about his weapons? I noticed you're not using a whip it's.... a gardening hose...?
Claimh Solais: Indeed. And for maximum effectiveness, it must actually be on. And Dracula will use his holy powers--- waitwut?
Szponder: (the rest of the game industry) So we're making a reboot with something fresh and original but still taking that original feel (see: MK and Tomb Raider) (DmC team) We don't play that game. It's a rebirth because we're cool that way
Claimh Solais: It's what the fans have been asking for. :P Or at least, that's what Cox said about Castlevania.
Brotha Kyo: DRACULA... CAN USE... HOLY POWERS? Well, uh, the fans are already calling you bullshit, and that... well, Simon Belmont isn't supposed to be in his late teens..... comment?
Claimh Solais: Don't worry, I understand it will get negative feedback and push on with this in mind. :P
Original Outcast: This "hose" keeps taking the shapes of random sharp objects indicating that Tameem is making shit up as he goes along.
Brotha Kyo: So... you're not going to cancel the project or deliver what the fans want?
Claimh Solais: Oh, don't worry. I'm sure the fans will be HAPPY with the final release. ;)
Brotha Kyo: Well, because some people say you're NOT giving them what they want, and that you want PERFECT SCORES. Will you reference the past games?
Claimh Solais: ...Cannot say. Dodging issues. The fans WANT this.
Brotha Kyo: So... when WILL "CazizzleVazizzle" as you.... called it... when will... that game come out?
Szponder: It's called that? FUCK YEAH, GIVE ME 20.
Claimh Solais: It will come out when we feel the fans are ready for our hard and dedicated work (which basically means sometime in 2012).
Brotha Kyo: The soundtrack seems to borderline on..... "new-hiphop raprock" with no references to the old games... you SURE this what the fans want....?
Szponder: MY BODY ISN'T READY.
Original Outcast: This game will be unholy and not in a good way either. :/
Brotha Kyo: *Shigeru Miyamoto surfs in on a flying hotdog* Devil May Cry vs. Castlevania. *Winks and blasts off into space*
Claimh Solais: Don't worry, we've taken lessons from the original composers themselves. We assure you it will be quite faithful to the original game.
Brotha Kyo: But... it sounds like.... DMX garbled vinegar in most of the songs...
Szponder: Guess your body wasn't ready either.
Brotha Kyo: My body? MY HEART WAS THE FIRST TO STOP FUNCTIONING.
Claimh Solais: Don't worry, we're being supervised by the best composer of them all from the original team. You will be quite happy with the finished product. ^^
Original Outcast: DMC2 never reached this Abject level of Fuckness!
Brotha Kyo: And finally.... does Koji Igarashi know of this game happening?
Claimh Solais: Of course. He is supervising, and "offering his input" (which translates to not doing shit and isn't really involved at all).
Brotha Kyo: (THANK YOU. "CREATIVE CONSULTANT" MY ASS.) Well.. this project is eye-opening. I'm totally not lying when I say this is the Castlevania we've been waiting for. I'm totally stoked and this will change action games forever. Also, this will be the best Castlevania, totally blowing Symphony of the FRight out of the water. That Austin Parish, the producer for the NEW Castlevania, coming out January 1st next year. Konami's got a real winner on their hands; always bet on outsourcing. ...you know. For the American youth.
Claimh Solais: And there will definitely be no QTEs as they take away from the fast-paced action, in my opinion.
Brotha Kyo: Of COURSE. THIS MAN IS A FUCKING CINEMATIC GENIUS!!! YOU GUYS GETTING THIS?! I just spoke to THE Austin Parish. Who wants peanut butter?
Claimh Solais: I do.
(etc. etc. it went on for much longer)