Castlevania Dungeon Forums
Off Topic => Off Topic => Topic started by: Pemburu Vampir on March 27, 2012, 09:38:20 PM
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What is it? I just don't know what do I live for.
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I just want to see what the future has in store for us, nothing too mushy.
To elaborate, if things are looking down there are always chances of the situation improving, though the inverse applies as well. Kinda helps me keep myself on my toes without getting too cynical.
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To be a better me and maybe help others to be a better them. :)
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Cocaine.
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I live because I don't know anything else. I don't know what happens after you die, but my guess is absolutely nothing. If that's true, then I think I should stretch this life thing out as much as I can. Not existing scares the crap out of me, and as hard as life is I would still rather have it than face the void of nothingness.
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I doubt you're gonna sense not existing because being alive means being self-conscious. You know what happens when you sleep and don't remember what you dreamed about? That's likely what being dead is like.
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I doubt you're gonna sense not existing because being alive means being self-conscious. You know what happens when you sleep and don't remember what you dreamed about? That's likely what being dead is like.
Possibly, but I tend to feel like not having any consciousness is completely unfathomable even when compared to dreamless sleep. When sleeping, you still have subconsciousness. I don't think being dead could be like sleep, because sleep is something and dead is nothing. I have a sense of what subconscious existence in deep sleep is like, but like infinity, I am incapable of comprehending the concept of not being here..at...all. Just thinking about it makes me have waves of anxiety. Still, I refuse to cling on to irrational fairy tales that serve to alleviate that anxiety. I try my hardest to focus on life and to value it, because the very idea of death terrifies me. (for myself or anyone I care about) Anyone who says they aren't afraid of death is LYING not only to others but to themselves as well.
It's true that not being here means not being able to think about how it may or may not suck to be dead, but not even having the consciousness to feel anything at all - essentially not existing - is still scary.
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You were in that same state before being born. Naturally being self-aware now makes it seem more complicated and/or scarier than it likely actually is. We came from nothing and that's where we will return.
Don't Fear the Reaper- Blue Oyster Cult (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUO_5EALZoM#)
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What drives you guys to live this life?
There are lots of things that drive me to stick around here till my number's called; Video games, what's beyond 2012, First Contact (if and when it happens), the reemergence of the Atlantis & Lemurian continents, technological leaps & bounds past what we can imagine, etc. But perhaps the most important and maybe the main reason why I tough out life is simple; Suicide. It just can't be done. To me it's no different then hitting the reset or power button on your game console. You can't cheat your way out of death by your own hand or else you have to start over again at square one. No saves or passwords. A game that you've worked so hard to finish only to get pissed at it then decide to turn it off, is just not worth doing it over again. Considering all the s**t I've been through, if I were to suicide then I'd have to relive all of that pain and suffering. All Over Again. Not worth it. No matter how much I hate my life and all, this little analogy is the only reason I'm still here.
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To be a better me and maybe help others to be a better them. :)
I live because I don't know anything else. I don't know what happens after you die, but my guess is absolutely nothing. If that's true, then I think I should stretch this life thing out as much as I can. Not existing scares the crap out of me, and as hard as life is I would still rather have it than face the void of nothingness.
There are lots of things that drive me to stick around here till my number's called; Video games, what's beyond 2012, First Contact (if and when it happens), the reemergence of the Atlantis & Lemurian continents, technological leaps & bounds past what we can imagine, etc. But perhaps the most important and maybe the main reason why I tough out life is simple; Suicide. It just can't be done. To me it's no different then hitting the reset or power button on your game console. You can't cheat your way out of death by your own hand or else you have to start over again at square one. No saves or passwords. A game that you've worked so hard to finish only to get pissed at it then decide to turn it off, is just not worth doing it over again. Considering all the s**t I've been through, if I were to suicide then I'd have to relive all of that pain and suffering. All Over Again. Not worth it. No matter how much I hate my life and all, this little analogy is the only reason I'm still here.
I like these answers, especially the last one. I think I have a reason to live my life now. :)
Thanks guys. :D
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Anyone who says they aren't afraid of death is LYING not only to others but to themselves as well.
I don't fear death. Fear is a heavy burden that you can choose not to have.
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I live to see my dreams and goals (or some of them at least) realized.
Also some curiosity for what the future holds for the world.
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Probably to make the world a better place. I don't know how I'm gonna do that, But I hope somehow I would at least somewhat change it for the best. The new motto I've developed is "If you're not making the world a better place then why the hell are you still alive?"
As for afterlife, being non-religious and yet still being afraid of nothingness, I'd like to believe in reincarnation, as in you are reborn without knowing anything of your previous consciousness. Other than that I really don't like thinking about it.
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I don't fear death. Fear is a heavy burden that you can choose not to have.
I agree with this one. You can choose to live in fear of dying or to live your life like you want by accepting and waiting for the unexpected whenever it is to come. 10 days ago, i passed out and fell on a avenue full with cars. Luckily, i only hurt my hand. Dying or no that day, it doesn't make any difference to me. I have accepted death as something normaly to my life.
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I guess I'm what you call apathetic in this subject. Live, or die, either is fine. My biological systems prefer to prevent it, but in my mind I don't really care either way I guess. I don't really have anything tying me down, so I suppose there's not much to lose. Or perhaps, since I've knocked on death's door enough, I've become desensitized to it. Who knows. I don't really put much thought into it.
Anyone who says they aren't afraid of death is LYING not only to others but to themselves as well.
An arrogant and misguided statement founded by your extreme hate of religion. Typical for you though, I suppose.
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Well i know this subject will be touchy either way so i'll respond with my own personal beliefs. I,being a Catholic, do indeed believe in the after life. It is ironic though i am not one to shun other religions or ideas. Because i truly believe God has a plan for all religions, a more wordly view. For this i believe they should be helping each other out and not fighting amongst who is right or wrong. The ideal conscensus for the most part is that an ultimate being(God) created everything you see or you woudlnt' be here. Also i've dabbled into readings of other religions, most of them proport to some very similar ideas. A creator, an acheivable after life, Help you neihbor, do unto other like you'd do until yourself, karma. Things of that nature. I will say these times in general are very hard for most people and we should not give up. It is hard to look on the bright side sometimes,but people should try and stay positive. Id do believe God does have a plan for you,even if you don't always see it. Maybe it's to help others,invent things,learn how to make games, you know..... something. One of the biggest areas of concerns i've personally witnessed in the last 2-3 yrs are peoples moods have changed. More people seem to be negative,blaming others, reclusive, not responding back much on phones,blowing other off. Yeah i dunno i've never experienced this to be honest. But i'm trying my best to stay positive with it all. People helping each other = positive chain reaction. People nasty at each other = negative chain reaction. It's easy to do the math here. Maybe working on games is good, and working a job, cause it keeps you motivated and it a positive outlet. One of the best things i've learned recently is it's best for people to have patience with each other. This way take away uneeded stress in everyone's lives.
I will be honest i did have a dream i'll share with you. It was an amazing dream i remember very clearly. I was in a building off to the right looking out at the street and i seen a big open area in the middle of a city where all these zig zag streets lead too. They didn't have street names. Also their was a band playing,the band U2, and in the middle of the street, it appeared people from every ethnicity,religion and culture, where dancing in the street in the form of a cross celebrating with each other. Now i know this is a dream, but it did seem like a really cool one to me. Just thought i'd share it, and in a sense it seemed to give me a really good feeling.
For the record i've almost died about 3-4 times, somehow narrowly missing death, and yeah that dreadful thought does run through your mind(is my time up?). Then wham, you are still alive and the thoughts are rushing through your mind. Afterwords i'm was like thanking God.
Well i am not meaning to step on toes, just trying to give positive insights.
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I will be honest i did have a dream i'll share with you. It was an amazing dream i remember very clearly. I was in a building off to the right looking out at the street and i seen a big open area in the middle of a city where all these zig zag streets lead too. They didn't have street names. Also their was a band playing,the band U2, and in the middle of the street, it appeared people from every ethnicity,religion and culture, where dancing in the street in the form of a cross celebrating with each other. Now i know this is a dream, but it did seem like a really cool one to me. Just thought i'd share it, and in a sense it seemed to give me a really good feeling.
Was this a dream or did you astral travel? There are big differences between the two so I'll elaborate: A dream is something, that for the most part is erratic. it's always changing on a whim, colors, objects, environments. For instance if your driving in a car and suddenly for no reason the car will seem like a power wheels toy rather then the former ford. Dreams are very much like this in that they don't really make a whole lot of sense which is why some of us try to make sense out of them in the waking world. Astral travel is when the soul leaves the body and goes wherever it wishes. The past, the future, back to the other side, other countries, places even other planets light years away as the soul knows no boundaries or limitations. From what you've just told us about your dream, I'm very confident that you Astral traveled somewhere to be with these people for a social gathering of sorts.
I too had such a journey myself. It was lively, warm and with many people gathered around in a social scene. I wasn't enjoying myself because I was extremely angry with the world at that time and wanted to die. I was banging my head against a window pane in the futility of my life cause i just felt drained emotionally and tired. Then my deceased father called over to me. It was right there that I literally broke down and woke up, still with tears in my eyes. My dad looked really worn out and yellowy-pale due to his cancer and such, but when I saw him at the gathering he was very lively, glowing with health and smiling warmly at me. I still haven't forgotten this as i normally would with just any old dream. Trust me Las, I believe you were really there at the party. and the best part about it is you got free tickets to see U2 ;)
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I dont fear death itself, just pain of death. I'd prefer to die during my sleep or something like that, yknow? But of course, avoid death if possible. Dunno what's in store for me after death, (I'm a Catholic, but let's face it, Nobody has ever come back from the dead to publicly confirm or deny any religion's views.) But id prefer to put that adventure off until im satisfied as much as possible with life and I feel that ive lived long enough.
on a related note,
Im of the mind that if I could, I would use immortality mainly out of pure curiosity. to watch the world change and evolve. Im always curious about the future, and would love to see it through. (21XX HERE I COME WOOO)
of course life dont work that way, but it's interesting to think about.
yknow what else is fun to think about?
Reincarnation. The idea that your behavior and actions in a previous life affect your current one. karma. Were a serial killer in a previous life? well tough shit, you get a crappy life as punishment. You were so good and pure you could run for Jesus? You get to have a comfortable good life where you can fulfill most if not all your wishes and desires.
I also like to think of the idea of reincarnation not being bound by time. So you could upon dying, reincarnate as someone hundreds of years ago, anywhere anyone, anyplace.
Real fun to think about.
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Too many factors, no particular order:
Finish video game collection
have kids one day, though I'm starting to get to that age where having one means being old and senile when they go to college
have fun with life
learn knowledge and help others gather it who are younger than me
enjoy the good times and weather the bad ones, learn from it
live to be 130 (not gonna happen I know)
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I live to eat.
I also strive for the day when I can play Probotector with Puwexil, even though he'll just yell at me. ;_;
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Where do I start?
It's not to much
First I want to complete college become a criminologist so I can understand why crime happens.
And recently I have been thinking about becoming a lawyer and the reason is because of how some court houses and their public defenders can be so so wrong I have never been so angry at how they can just throw someone to the lions I just cannot believe it when I was little I wanted to stop crime now after seeing what that bastard did I am starting to think that I must work on the inside as well as out basically whatever way I can. I think I have found my calling that emotion that swelled up in me I just cannot fathom. I am not sure what this means, but I think that was a defining moment for me I have just never felt this strong before in my life people get in trouble for stupid minor things that should not even be major and yet no matter how good they are or even humble the main heads up there will just put a person behind bars for who knows how long. I just cannot accept the way how things are I feel that law is my calling I should be able to help those that get crushed by or get thrown under by the law and those public defenders I hate them so much I have never felt so much anger in my life toward something, but it has pushed me to really get those degrees.
Afterwards I just want to make a family. A wife and three kids is all what I am asking and being financially secure for my self and my future family(my dad and brothers say do not even worry about women right now and just concentrate on school,but it is so though when I have thoughts about them).
I am not asking for the world just this and being the best person I can be. Thank you to anyone who read this. Has there ever been that moment that makes you do what you do or want to do something?
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I'd imagine meeting Bloodreign and maybe other Yankee Vaniacs with Paavo would be cool. Of course that's unlikely to happen for lots of reasons, but it's fun to think about 8)
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First I want to complete college become a criminologist so I can understand why crime happens.
People are selfish at nature. Anyone wishes to maximize his / her well-being and would do anything in his / her ability to do so. Without fear of punishment for crimes, like Thomas Hobbes said, life would be solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short. This is why we build society. When put alone, the will of every man is to work less and profit more. However when being required to compete against other people, the system forces you to work more and profit less.
Here, you may now skip the rest of college. :P
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@ X. To start off sorry to hear about your dad. Losing loved ones sucks very badly. My best friend passed away in the late 90's and it his me hard. I didn't actually know right away either. But yeah i got that good feeling he's up their and your dad too. As for my dream or astral travel. I suppose that theory is very possible. Seeing that there is more to life that even no humans can explain it would seem as much facts as people have about our planet and solar system there is much that cannot be explained. Perhaps you are right and that was astro traveling. I do from time to time have these very awesome dreams or astral travel. I once was entering a giant's manshion or something. It was so beauftiul and elaborate and so vast i couldn't even find my way around. I realize that their were statues of angels(that were sorta wearing guards clothes i think) they pointed to differnt doors. I remember getting curious and opening a door they didn't point to. I was met by man eating camels, slammed the door and ran away. Another dream or astral travel i had was at a hugh banquet. Of extremely massive size. Where i seen some of my relatives and friends eating. I mean their were vast rows past what the eye could see of tables and people. One last one i'll share is a very short one. I just remember walking in this corridor almost like you'd see in a subway station or perhaps in the indoor part of a football/hockey stadium(where you get food,use restrooms). Well anyways i just remember seeing people, aliens, centaurs, differnt beings you'd see in george lucas films or harry potter or something. But they had their own lives lieve like you and i.You see it's all together possilbe our dreams do tell us things or give us hope when we are down in life. Many times i've had dreams of places i used to know in life that i like, but they were somewhat altered(even better than before) it almost seems that it could be possilbe that these altered areas that lead to other areas i hadn't seen could be someone else places they remember or liked.( it is a weird concept i get sometimes when i think about dreams) I have woken up from dreams feeling really good even when i'm feeling bummed the day before. I will say dreams seem vivid at times, but in all essense i tend to think they may mean something more than just subconciusly dreaming.
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Thanks Las. Sorry about your friend too. And yeah it sucks to lose someone you know. But for me it's all the more reason not to take my own life or else I won't get to see them again until I "Properly" finish my current incarnation.
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Yeah, thats why I try to stay alive too. I have too many friends, both online and offline, for me to die.
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My cat. When she's gone, I can say, "fuck this world," unless I go out and buy another cat right away. :-X But it's all about the dependency. One reason I don't want kids (don't want something to anchor me down) and at the same time want a kid (cuz cats don't learn -smack!- means 'no!').
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Boobs.
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Boobs.
Amen to that, brother. 8)
Seriously though, I'd rather not find out about death til I have to go. Too much stuff to do, man. Rather live life than give in as well - dying is easy, living's hard. I refuse to selfishly end my life for my own benefit at the cost of others pain.
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Why I don't fear death:
No Fear in the Now (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUdHX1Bent0#)
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Wise words. I myself don't fear death, however I am afraid of dying. The reason why I fear dying is because it is the transition from life to death and that is the hardest thing to get over. I have no idea what my transition is going to be like though I wish for it to be in my sleep and with no pain. Death is easy because you are dead. No transition needed.
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An arrogant and misguided statement founded by your extreme hate of religion. Typical for you though, I suppose.
People go around with an attitude that fearing death is pointless so they choose not to think about it, effectively choosing to not live in fear. I get that. But when the luxury of putting our mortality out of our minds is gone, as in YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE - everyone will experience fear to some degree, regardless of their beliefs or attitudes. That is what I believe. Do you see me making some comment like 'Oh, misguided and typical for a religious person like you to think (fill in the blank)' just because I don't agree? That's just rude. And you are actually calling ME arrogant?! Does that make sense to you? It's as if you demand that your belief system be exempt from any sort of critique or questioning, whilst it's completely OK to trash mine in the rudest way possible.
And why are you so hung up on the fact that I'm not a fan of religion,anyways? Every single time I say anything, you bring that up. A little intolerant, perhaps? How would you like it if I quoted your posts with a mention/bashing of your religious beliefs in threads where those kinds of debates weren't happening. It's like it just eats at you and you have to say something about it. Many of my close friends are religious, because you don't have to able to understand someone or agree with them in order to have respect for them. Try it sometime.
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The tears are delicious. Omnomnomnom.
It's funny you mention those things though, cause that's pretty much what you do. Jump into a topic with a reference to religion, and then declare all religions to be stupid along with the people who follow them. But when one person makes even a hint at the reverse, OH NO YOU'RE BEING UNFAIR AND RUDE AND MEAN AND STUPID WAHHHHHHH WAAAAAHHHHHHH.
The proof that you DON'T pay attention to any of my posts regarding religious controversy is that you said;
It's as if you demand that your belief system be exempt from any sort of critique or questioning
You're still applying your bias generalized hate mongering anti-religious presumptions to any religious people you happen to come across here without even listening to them at all.
For that, you are probably one of the most annoying people here. I'd rather have affinity back.
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I dont fear death itself, just pain of death. I'd prefer to die during my sleep or something like that, yknow? But of course, avoid death if possible. Dunno what's in store for me after death, (I'm a Catholic, but let's face it, Nobody has ever come back from the dead to publicly confirm or deny any religion's views.) But id prefer to put that adventure off until im satisfied as much as possible with life and I feel that ive lived long enough.
Reincarnation. The idea that your behavior and actions in a previous life affect your current one. karma. Were a serial killer in a previous life? well tough shit, you get a crappy life as punishment. You were so good and pure you could run for Jesus? You get to have a comfortable good life where you can fulfill most if not all your wishes and desires.
I also like to think of the idea of reincarnation not being bound by time. So you could upon dying, reincarnate as someone hundreds of years ago, anywhere anyone, anyplace.
Real fun to think about.
Dude, we have very similar views. I don't think I fear death, the pain of death also scares me, more than actual death. However, there are other things too, for me, that stops me from death. Such as being catholic, and it's against my religion to commit suicide, not to mention that I think suicide is for the weak. Not that I think myself strong in any real way, but I think the ones that commit suicide are the weakest (though as with everything, I'm sure there are circumstances that may make me think otherwise)
Another thing is... as pathetic as I usually feel I am (I'm a pessimist, lol) I feel that even I can sometimes affect things for the better, if not for everyone in the universe, at least to my love ones.
As for the topic of reincarnation... I think that's a pretty cool concept, that may very well be in effect, but who knows?
One thoughto n that though, don't you think it's a bit funny, while being rich doesn't make you evil, it does have a tendency of driving you that way because you get whatever you want, then you don't and you want it.. and well... you start doing questionable things (Not in all cases, obviously, but it does seem to be a sort of trend.) What are the chances, you do good in one life and get rewards in the next, then do bad in that one because you have your way too much. Then you do good because you have bad, and hope for the best... and it becomes an ever cycle of bad to good to bad to good.
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"More weight."
Giles Corey kept repeating that as he was being pressed to death in the 1692 Salem witch trials because he refused to be tried as a witch. If that guy had any fear of dying, he did a pretty flawless job of pretending he wasn't afraid.
As for "condemning" suiciders..I'd never dare be so goddamn arrogant. There are weak, unstable individuals in this world who kill themselves for petty things and might make it through if they got the help they needed. But there are people who have struggled to simply exist for years and have no other merciful way out than through their personal emergency exit.
You can't jump inside someone's mind and experience what kind of burdens and demons some hide. You can't know if you'd be any stronger in the god-awful scenarios fate throws at us randomly. That's why I'll never say shit like "all suiciders are weak cowards". Some are, but things are never black and white when it comes to this subject. It's not a beautiful, dramatic thing and I don't endorse it. But it's not my place (or anyone else's) to stack all who killed themselves in a neat little pile to point at self-righteously.
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The tears are delicious. Omnomnomnom.
It's funny you mention those things though, cause that's pretty much what you do. Jump into a topic with a reference to religion, and then declare all religions to be stupid along with the people who follow them. But when one person makes even a hint at the reverse, OH NO YOU'RE BEING UNFAIR AND RUDE AND MEAN AND STUPID WAHHHHHHH WAAAAAHHHHHHH.
The proof that you DON'T pay attention to any of my posts regarding religious controversy is that you said;
You're still applying your bias generalized hate mongering anti-religious presumptions to any religious people you happen to come across here without even listening to them at all.
For that, you are probably one of the most annoying people here. I'd rather have affinity back.
YOU are the one that referenced religion first here. And YOU are the one who is attacking, not me - so why are you calling me annoying?
I don't post any differently in this forum than I do in any others, and again YOU are the only one who is having some beef with it. Leave me the hell alone, please.
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People go around with an attitude that fearing death is pointless so they choose not to think about it, effectively choosing to not live in fear. I get that. But when the luxury of putting our mortality out of our minds is gone, as in YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE - everyone will experience fear to some degree, regardless of their beliefs or attitudes. That is what I believe. Do you see me making some comment like 'Oh, misguided and typical for a religious person like you to think (fill in the blank)' just because I don't agree? That's just rude. And you are actually calling ME arrogant?! Does that make sense to you? It's as if you demand that your belief system be exempt from any sort of critique or questioning, whilst it's completely OK to trash mine in the rudest way possible.
And why are you so hung up on the fact that I'm not a fan of religion,anyways? Every single time I say anything, you bring that up. A little intolerant, perhaps? How would you like it if I quoted your posts with a mention/bashing of your religious beliefs in threads where those kinds of debates weren't happening. It's like it just eats at you and you have to say something about it. Many of my close friends are religious, because you don't have to able to understand someone or agree with them in order to have respect for them. Try it sometime.
YOU are the one that referenced religion first here. And YOU are the one who is attacking, not me - so why are you calling me annoying?
I don't post any differently in this forum than I do in any others, and again YOU are the only one who is having some beef with it. Leave me the hell alone, please.
(http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/5096/133312404090.jpg)
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In all seriousness though, while boobs are insanely awesome, what drives me to continue life is God. Which seems like a contradiction at times because you wouldn't really know I'm a Christian based on my life. I have certain convictions like abstaining from sex and drugs, and I don't really swear all that much, so I am a somewhat "moral person"—I just don't really serve God and others in the way that Christ commanded, which makes me a king-sized turd.
I don't necessarily believe that one has to entirely devote his or her life to the cause of witnessing to others and spreading God's love. I believe that God gave this earth for people to enjoy, where all too often the stricter, more extreme Christians would have you think that the beauty in this life means nothing and all that matters is spreading the gospel to help save others for the glorious afterlife. While I believe witnessing to be important and it is something Jesus commanded, I think some people take it to extremes. And while this earth's beauty will pale in comparison to the new earth, there's still so much here to be amazed by and to take in and enjoy. I can worship God without having to spell out His Son's name or wave a Jesus flag in everything I do.
But God is the source of all beauty and creativity. All love and all understanding. Without God, there would be nothing. As such, without God, I become deeply despondent. I'll be honest: because of my sin nature, I quite often stray from God and choose to do my own thing. I go days without uttering so much as a prayer. I enjoy life—in my own secluded sort of way. I'm an entertainment and art junkie, so I'll spend a lot of time playing video games or watching movies and anime. I see a select few friends when they're available and I enjoy that social interaction. I enjoy greasy, fatty foods. (http://castlevaniadungeon.net/forums/Smileys/classic/cool.gif) Go for a swim or a bike ride weather permitting. I don't have a terribly varied field of activities, but what I do, I enjoy fully, and I mix it up amongst those things.
But that all gets wearisome after some time. It's a source of happiness, but not an ultimate source. Those things—even close friends and family—cannot take away depression. They can sometimes help alleviate the pain in darker times, but I'm fully convinced based on the things I've experienced in my life that only God can offer any kind of true, lasting satisfaction.
Whenever I get into my really apathetic moods which last for months, I tend to revel in all kinds of sin. Not so much anymore as I've grown a bit in character, but basically "anything goes." It was always those times—at my weakest—where I threw out what was moral and would enjoy the company of women. It would be fun, for sure, but it didn't help me get out of that misery—it only made it worse. Sexual activities just weren't meant to be experienced in such a fleeting way or with people who aren't congruent with you (there was a girl who was really neat and was mad about me, and I think we would've been a good couple for a while, but somewhere down the line I guarantee there would have been troubles based on our differences and worldviews).
I dunno... I might be talking out my ass at this point and not making a whole lotta sense, but when something as fantastic as being close to a woman, emotionally and physically, doesn't help you out of that pit, it makes you think, "What can?" And from my experience, the only thing that brings me out of that despair is God.
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And bear in mind that I don't just seek the company of women when I'm depressed. :p I kinda made it sound that way but it isn't the case. I've been close to women even when at my happiest and brightest, and whenever I cross that line and commit sexual sin, it is again fun for a while, but becomes such a drag at some point. I fully believe sex cannot be experienced to its fullest outside of a committed relationship, preferably a life-long marriage.
So, in closing, boobs aren't what I live for—but they're pretty dang awesome nonetheless. (http://castlevaniadungeon.net/forums/Smileys/classic/cool.gif) And hopefully someday I'll have a totally awesome wife—if I stop being such a recluse, that is.
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While I don't want to drag this thread further into a debate about religion, the problem is, Ms. Opium, that in your SECOND post in the thread, when nobody had even mentioned your atheism, you said
"Still, I refuse to cling on to irrational fairy tales that serve to alleviate that anxiety."
I'm afraid you're incorrect, Uzo *wasn't* "the one that referenced religion first here." Again, I've had decent discourse with you and I have no desire to harp on anyone for their religious beliefs or lack thereof, but if you don't want people bringing up the subject of religion around you, the rest of us would very much appreciate it if you didn't make snide references to "irrational fairy tales" in your posts when the subject didn't even come up.
In any case, the odd thing is that plenty of *atheists* don't fear death either. As Mark Twain (author of Huckleberry Finn, Tom Sawyer, and a famous skeptic generally) said, "The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” Ms. Opium is entitled to her views, but I suspect more than a few of her non-religious fellows would disagree.
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Thank you, Gunlord. You took the words right out of my mouth.
Also, well said Freak. I'm on the same page there. I don't want to bring any women to bed that I don't truly feel love for. Physical attraction simply does not go far enough in my book. A deep connection is much more valuable. It is discouraging that the people of our generation hardly feel the same. I feel like the only one who really wants to connect with someone. This seems true for both genders.
Chin up though, Freak. Your heart is in the right place. I'm sure you can pull it off.
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Do NOT turn this into a topic of religious vs non-religious please. It can be kept civil without one or the other forcing their views down someone elses throats.
That is all, you've been warned.
Also Gunlord, well said man.
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Well, in further response to Opium, You cant really have a thread about people's motivations in life and not expect religion to eventually pop up.
But I totally agree with your point on after death, the complete inability to comprehend the concept of not existing. It's fascinating shit to think about, because you just... can't. Our very existence is based on self awareness, consciousness. the awareness that we exist. We don't remember before we were conceived, which is more or less part of the same deal.
BTW im speaking purely theoretically here with the idea of nonexistence after death. Like I said before, despite being Catholic myself, I gotta admit that nobody has ever actually come back to prove either side's argument.
But I believe that the belief in an afterlife also stems from the same concept expressed prior- the inability to comprehend eternal nonexistence of self. So we believe that surely there must be something beyond death. After all, where does the consciousness go? How can that "spark" that one could call a soul- that mass of existence just disappear?
which is why I like to think about reincarnation. The "spark" of our consciousness being reborn as someone else, and that would be our consciousness, and that person could possibly then wonder the same exact thing.
urrrgh im thinking in circles...
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As a kid I would sometimes wonder what it would be like to not exist, and suddenly I'd be sucked into this really weird mental state where my mind is adrift and I feel this weird tingling in my neck and brain and I'd be put into this really intense tunnel vision that at the same time made my body feel like it was at once enormous and just a tiny speck in outer space. It was the ultimate space-out, which was similar to my fever deliriums where I would stare up at my speckled ceiling at night and metaphysically fall back or sink down into my mattress while my spirit drifted up into the ceiling which became this immense, spacious dome where the speckles were the stars populating space.
Weird feelings, man. Totally unreal. You don't need drugs when you're delirious or can tap into a form of thinking that blows your mind and causes you to feel like you're floating.
Of course, thinking on it now, to not exist would mean simply to be nonexistent—as in, I'd experience nothing, in which case there'd be no need to ponder what that would be like, because there's no possible way I could know what that's like, being if I didn't exist, I'd have no consciousness or state of being whatsoever.
:O:O:O
Anyway, thanks for the words of encouragement, uzo. It helps when I feel like everyone in my personal life has been looking down at me thinking I'm going about everything the wrong way. I'm unsure if they are or if it's just paranoia on my part, although some have seen it fit to "challenge" who I am and in what I place importance, as if that's to encourage me and make me wake up my eyes to a different way of life. In truth, it really just makes me feel miserable, because I feel like some of my closest friends don't really like me for who I am. I know they mean well, but it's hard not to be bothered by their words no matter how encouraging they think they're being.
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I think it was Dr Seuss who said:
“Be Who You Are and Say What You Feel, Because Those Who Mind Don't Matter and Those Who Matter Don't Mind."
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"More weight."
Giles Corey kept repeating that as he was being pressed to death in the 1692 Salem witch trials because he refused to be tried as a witch. If that guy had any fear of dying, he did a pretty flawless job of pretending he wasn't afraid.
As for "condemning" suiciders..I'd never dare be so goddamn arrogant. There are weak, unstable individuals in this world who kill themselves for petty things and might make it through if they got the help they needed. But there are people who have struggled to simply exist for years and have no other merciful way out than through their personal emergency exit.
You can't jump inside someone's mind and experience what kind of burdens and demons some hide. You can't know if you'd be any stronger in the god-awful scenarios fate throws at us randomly. That's why I'll never say shit like "all suiciders are weak cowards". Some are, but things are never black and white when it comes to this subject. It's not a beautiful, dramatic thing and I don't endorse it. But it's not my place (or anyone else's) to stack all who killed themselves in a neat little pile to point at self-righteously.
I have to say, Giles Corey is definitely one of the best examples of sticking to his principles.
Now, about condemning and judging suicides. Everyone's a judge. No matter how you like to say it, everyone judges everyone else, it might not seem like it because you don't do anything, but, you'll have an opinion. And You'll probably act (or not act) because that opinion.
I don't do anything about it, because I don't think it's my place to do anything about it. I'm very big on "it's your body, do what you like, as long as it does not affect me (and others around you)." But I still think it's weak. But like I said, or I thought I said, I still think it's weak. There are instances that I think it is fine, like sacrificing yourself for someone else, and even ideals, much like Giles Corey.
And you're right, I can't jump in their minds to know what they'll feel like. But since I can't, I make decisions on what I can see and understand. Who knows, I might even be someone who would break and commit suicide if something like that happens. I don't know. I doubt it though.
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Of course I have an opinion. My opinion is that anyone's life is the only thing anyone really owns and if someone chooses to end it on their own terms, I'm no one to judge that decision by default. I try to see all sides of it instead of simply feeling superior to suiciders. There are so many ways this reality can rip and tear anyone's mind, soul and body apart that I'd find it insane to brand them all weak without blinking an eye. I think that if I did that I'd be following some misguided moral doctrine or whatever's been programmed into me to boost my ego if I did that.
What indeed is a wake up call to lots of people is when someone you love, care about deeply and/or respect, commits suicide. I wonder if sticking to that thinking helps them after that. Or if it makes them feel a better person in any way.
Lol, someone downvoted my original post 8)
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Within the context of this thread, that sounds like a cop-out excuse to say dickish things with impunity.
I would think better than to assume that that's what members of this forum are doing. I think higher than that of the lot of you.
EDIT: This response was to Opium's Dr.Seuss comment.
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I think it was Dr Seuss who said:
“Be Who You Are and Say What You Feel, Because Those Who Mind Don't Matter and Those Who Matter Don't Mind."
I believe it was Ephraim Kishon (Israeli author) who said:
"My country is a wonderful one, where everybody can say whatever he wants, and yet it doesn't mean anybody would give a damn."
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Of course I have an opinion. My opinion is that anyone's life is the only thing anyone really owns and if someone chooses to end it on their own terms, I'm no one to judge that decision by default. I try to see all sides of it instead of simply feeling superior to suiciders. There are so many ways this reality can rip and tear anyone's mind, soul and body apart that I'd find it insane to brand them all weak without blinking an eye. I think that if I did that I'd be following some misguided moral doctrine or whatever's been programmed into me to boost my ego if I did that.
What indeed is a wake up call to lots of people is when someone you love, care about deeply and/or respect, commits suicide. I wonder if sticking to that thinking helps them after that. Or if it makes them feel a better person in any way.
Lol, someone downvoted my original post 8)
I don't know... when you have an opinion, and everyone will, it's already a judgement because they already act on it to some extent. Of course it doesn't have to be a sentencing or something really affecting, not that you can do much to someone who already committed suicide.
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I can never judge someone for wanting to commit suicide. Never. Why? Because I know how they feel. The futility of how their lives seem to them, the emotions that run through their heads, the downward spiraling of negative thoughts and feelings that just push them right to the point where thought becomes action. I've contemplated suicide for well over 15 years. That's a f**king long time to want to kill one's self. And believe me I am really tired and exhausted of going back and fourth with those kinds of thoughts. It's extremely taxing to bring myself back under control after going into a downward spiral of negative thoughts :P The only reason that I never went through with it is stated above in my first post. To kill myself is to start all my shit all over again and I refuse to push that damned reset button. I want to go to my true home where everyone's waiting for me, and the only way to do that is to live out mt life in it's entirety. Though that's not to say a life-threatening illness or accident might come along and take it from me prematurely. I'd be okay with that too as I am also a fatalist like my father was.
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Within the context of this thread, that sounds like a cop-out excuse to say dickish things with impunity.
what
I don't know... when you have an opinion, and everyone will, it's already a judgement because they already act on it to some extent. Of course it doesn't have to be a sentencing or something really affecting, not that you can do much to someone who already committed suicide.
There's a smoke screen rising here. All I said was I don't simply consider every single suicider weak and cowardly by default. By "judging" I meant standing on, what I consider in this context, an imaginary higher moral ground by categorizing anyone who has taken his or her own life into a same, ugly group.
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I had a friend who committed suicide. I was really sad about it, then I get pissed off at her. But the more I thought about it - I think she really knew what she was doing. I kinda looked at her life and how bad it sucked, and I think I kinda understood where she was coming from in deciding to check out. Her life really did suck ass - it wasn't just some chemical imbalance or some naive person feeling sorry for herself. In a way, she kind of gave all of us a gift by making us feel better about our own lives. I used to get really down and contemplate suicide, but I never did it anymore after I thought about her life. Her life made mine look like a cake walk.
In high school she was really pretty and totally hilarious. When she was around 20, she was engaged to this guy that she was really crazy about. They were drinking and taking a bunch of prescription pills, and in the morning she woke up and found him dead next to her. She never got over it. She dove really hard into meth after that, and became a thief and a hooker. She went on like that for years and that funny lively person that she used to be just wasn't there anymore. Her eyes were just dead - almost like she was a zombie. The person she was when I met her was long gone. Her teeth were all rotted out and she looked like she was about 50. She had HIV and Hepatitis C to boot. When she was 27, she was staying in her parents' garage and she shot herself in the head.
So basically everytime I hear someone talking about suicide or being depressed, I compare that situation to hers and it almost always makes their problems look like nothing. If someone is anywhere near being as bad off as she was, then I say they may have a point in offing themselves, but if not then I say just hang in there because shit almost always gets better.
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X, what do you mean by comtemplating? There's thinking about it, then there's contemplating. Did you ever think that you might actually go through with it? I'm not saying this is your case, but there are a lot of foolish people who think their problems are the worst in the world, when it's clearly is not.
There's a smoke screen rising here. All I said was I don't simply consider every single suicider weak and cowardly by default. By "judging" I meant standing on, what I consider in this context, an imaginary higher moral ground by categorizing anyone who has taken his or her own life into a same, ugly group.
Not sure what you mean smoke rising, I'm not trying to flame anyone, or antagonize anyone. I'm just putting out mu thoughts on the matter. Like I said though, I don't consider everyone who consider suicide weak/cowardly either. But most people who do consider it, have pretty stupid reasons, imo when compared to so many others in trouble. Because a lot that consider suicide, don't even have to worry about living on. They probably get food, shelter, etc in comparison to one who's really suffering.
I definitely do not think myself above them, mainly because I don't know their exact circumstances, and I don't know myself what I'd do in such situations. I do believe and would like to think that they're problems aren't as bad as they really think. From what I can see, a lot seem foolish and rushed to "run" away.
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X, what do you mean by comtemplating? There's thinking about it, then there's contemplating. Did you ever think that you might actually go through with it?
For me it was a little of both. The thinking would lead on to contemplating. But the funny thing is that there was always something near the end of that contemplation that put my thinking on a different track and I'd eventually stop thinking about suicide for a time. To me it sounds as if God had set up some kind of safety net so that I don't contemplate to the point of the 'thought' becoming 'action'. I have seriously considered taking my own life because I've always felt that my life is futile. I try to do things and I fail. I try to fit in and I fail. All my life it's been one failure after another and this has been one of the main kick-starters for my contemplating suicide. I also feel quite alone in the world despite the fact that I am a loner. And I feel that 'loner' and 'lonely' are of a different nature and having experienced both I can easily tell the difference. I don't know if this answer's your question or not but right now it's the best I can do.
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No, that answers it well.
I'm sure everyone feels that way at one point or another. I feel like life is futile a lot of the time, but my thoughts on suicide, usually stops me from thinking of it any more than a joke of a thought. I also tend to think of all the other people who have it way worst than I do. As much as I "think" my life sucks, I know there are so many people in worst situation than me. Much like the saying, there's always a mountain higher quote, there's always someone in a worst situation. (Sorry, I can't remember the exact quote, and I believe I usually hear it in another language in any case.)
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I thought the say was "There's always a bigger fish" But I guess it means the same thing ;D Don't worry, I get what you're trying to say. :)
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I feel the opposite is true. If someone has a really crappy life, they just aren't looking ahead to getting out of the bad life and into a less bad life. If you are trapped in a horribly abusive relationship, kill your abuser (or just maim him/her and run away); the courts are lenient toward abuse victims. If you just got dumped, wait a couple years until you get dumped again before considering offing yourself. But the people who don't have anything worth killing themselves over are the ones who are the worst off, I think. They create their own Frankenstein's Monster, a homonculus of wretched self-loathing that takes on a will and mind of its own, haunting its creator, reminding him of the foulness that spawned such monstrosity, and driving him to madness. It's harder to escape from a pit you dug yourself than from a pit someone else dug.
But I always found it intersting that manyreligions condemn suicide. I think most Judeo-Christian sects say it's a direct ticket to Hell. Even more ironic, some aspects of bushido emphasize honorable suicide, yet Jigoku (Japanese hell) had a special place for people who killed themselves.
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what
Oh I hit "reply" without quoting. I was directly talking about Opium's Dr.Seuss remark, not to any other remarks that happened in between.
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I took Opium's quote as being a response to what I was saying about some of my friends making me feel bad. That's how it seems, and I don't think she meant it as anything standoffish or trying to say, "I'll say what I want." :p I'm pretty sure she was telling me, "If they have a problem with you, maybe they're not really your friends."
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I feel the opposite is true. If someone has a really crappy life, they just aren't looking ahead to getting out of the bad life and into a less bad life. If you are trapped in a horribly abusive relationship, kill your abuser (or just maim him/her and run away); the courts are lenient toward abuse victims. If you just got dumped, wait a couple years until you get dumped again before considering offing yourself. But the people who don't have anything worth killing themselves over are the ones who are the worst off, I think. They create their own Frankenstein's Monster, a homonculus of wretched self-loathing that takes on a will and mind of its own, haunting its creator, reminding him of the foulness that spawned such monstrosity, and driving him to madness. It's harder to escape from a pit you dug yourself than from a pit someone else dug.
But I always found it intersting that manyreligions condemn suicide. I think most Judeo-Christian sects say it's a direct ticket to Hell. Even more ironic, some aspects of bushido emphasize honorable suicide, yet Jigoku (Japanese hell) had a special place for people who killed themselves.
I personally, don't really think it's a guarantee ticket to hell. Maybe just a really big sin. But then, there maybe circumstances that probably makes it null.
As for Bushido and Jigoku.... I don't know for sure, but I'm guessing Jigoku manifested after Christianity came to Japan, and Bushido's Seppuku was before that. Of course, that doens't cover everything... since you can't say the same for the French and other European country. I say French specifically, because I'm like a Count of Monte Cristo maniac... I listen to it's audio book to sleep. And there is one part where a character mentions "Blood washes out shame" when he wanted to commit suicide to wash away the shame and bring honor back to his family's name.
And of course that matters because Christianity has been in Europe for the longest of time.
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I feel the opposite is true. If someone has a really crappy life, they just aren't looking ahead to getting out of the bad life and into a less bad life. If you are trapped in a horribly abusive relationship, kill your abuser (or just maim him/her and run away); the courts are lenient toward abuse victims. If you just got dumped, wait a couple years until you get dumped again before considering offing yourself. But the people who don't have anything worth killing themselves over are the ones who are the worst off, I think. They create their own Frankenstein's Monster, a homonculus of wretched self-loathing that takes on a will and mind of its own, haunting its creator, reminding him of the foulness that spawned such monstrosity, and driving him to madness. It's harder to escape from a pit you dug yourself than from a pit someone else dug.
I'm going to have to agree here. Yes, in some cases there's not much you can do, but in most cases the situation is very fixable, but the person fails to see the way out or doesn't deal with the consequences of their own actions. They simply give up and end their life.
At the risk of sounding like a dick, it really seems like Opium's friend's self destruction is an example of this. All of the issues mentioned there are the result of continual bad choices, not something she was dealt beyond her own power. When you screw with drugs, that's what happens.
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Perhaps this is true.
Honestly the reason for my response is more because I've had people say that (or put pictures up with that caption, on Facebook or whatever) as just a means to justify their dickishness, so it comes off as: "I'll say what I want and be a dick, and if it bothers you then you don't matter anyway, and the people in my life who matter don't mind that I'm acting like a dick".
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Holy shit. Holy shit. I just realized I have done one of the stupidest mistakes ever.
I was preparing for a killer test I had. I studied for this test like an entire month.
My knowledge was almost perfect. I was certain I'm gonna pass.
And then I looked at my test dates to see what time is the test tomorrow.
... It was yesterday. Holy shit. How could I miss it? How the hell could I miss it? I was CERTAIN the test is tomorrow.
That has got to be the stupidest mistake ever. I feel like banging my head against the wall. :-[
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So off topic >.>
That's gotta suck though. I tend to be anal about dates and time, because something like that might happen.
Honestly though, everyone's got different opinions on it. I doubt we'll agree on everything. I doubt I'll change my mind any time soon about suicidal people.
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What drives me to live this life? I just don't want to die. And maybe some other reasons.
Whether it's a fear of death, or simply because non-existance sounds unsatisfying, I have no idea.
My thoughts stay on life rather than death. I've lost so much, yet I've never let that bring me down. I always look forward to the future, with my head up, and I'm ready to tackle head-on the painful crap life throws at me, rather than submit to it.
And yeah, occassionally I thought about suicide. At one point, I was entirely prepared to do it. But then I thought about, "What would I be leaving behind? How will people remember me?" I don't want to be remembered as someone who submits. I want to have a lasting effect on the world, or at least the people who knew me.
If that means anything. :\
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lol @claimh solais using an alt. account to give himself 30 respect points
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Oh! I forgot to mention boobs! Boobs definitely drive me.
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lol @claimh solais using an alt. account to give himself 30 respect points
If I had the brains to do that. Didn't even know the respect thingy was there til this morning. You can have a mod or something check IPs if you want.
But in all seriousness, why do I have those anyway? I'm hardly even online. >.>
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You have respect cuz you're a respectable guy 8)
That said, I give pretty much everybody respect points and rate pretty much any topic I post in 5 stars. I love you guyz 8)
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Seein that this thread is a pretty popular one and it does make sense as too why i'll post again. Although i coulda mentioned it already i came within inches of death from a car crash. Me and buddy both. I happened to driving him to his house ready to take a left onto his street, when low and behold a sports car going roughly around 100 mph or more was coming at us from behind. I looked in my rear view and though oh boy this it i'm done. I told my friend to brace himself and looked in the side mirror and saw the same thing. We both were gringing, heard a loud screetch and when i opened my eyes i looked over at my buddy and we both like"holy shit" We looked back and the car ended up coming from a complete stop just inches behind us to pull off to the side and zipping past us(probably hoping no one seen that). Then me and my buddy got out of my car too look back at a trememdously long ass skid mark at least 2-3 telephone pole lenghts away. Next thing we know a cop rolls around the corner all quite like look at the skid marks. We went back to his house and nothing more happened except us discussing wtf just happened. Yeah it all happened so fast i didnt' know what to even think. But yeah i guess every once and a while i get to thinking, the lesson could be not to take life for granted. It certainly dawned on me that day!