Well... I actually can't believe it is possible to live with such a thing deep inside of you..
I mean, even knowing this is wrong and there's a girl you love so much... You still do this to yourself, and her as well. It feels horrible...
What is true love at the start? Can we really love someone enough to not even betray them? Humans commit mistakes, i know, but how? Can't we find any true love? Will we always live with this same thing tormenting our lives?
Meh human's don't always act logically, especially where their libido is concerned. Because on some level we're just pack mules for our genetics trying to disperse our traits in as wide a net as possible out of pure instinct. It's a common human failing we have to recognize. We don't have to accept it, but recognizing and understanding it can only help us control it.
You have a girl right there to love you to death yet, you turn the other way to hurt her it makes no sense to me either. Facts and research may show something as to possible reasons why, but in the end...
I was a little kid when I heard this song:
The Thunder Rolls: Garth Brooks lyrics (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIV0oovj7vc#)
Things like this lead to no good even death...
I got it... It's something instinctive, i know.. But it sucks.. Then how can you differ it from true love?
I agree, Neo.. And still, you try to be loyal to her as much as possible... Sometimes it hurts to be a man, you know... I heard women can still control this with more facility. Not saying women can't betray men, though.. But i can't stand the fact men seem so fragile to this...
Cheaters are scumbags. No if's, and's or but's.
THE END
At least part of that is biology/instinct, for most of the history of our species (and still today in large part) if a man got a woman pregnant and didn't want to raise the baby he could just leave. The woman doesn't have that option, she's stuck at least until she has the baby or has a miscarriage/abortion. So women might have a stronger tendency to be monogamous and selective of their partners purely on instinct.
Yes but again how do you define cheating? Is it a violation of trust? Does it have to be a physical act? I'm not a religious man by any stretch of the imagination however in Matthew 5:28 Jesus says "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."*
So are lustful thoughts for those who are not your partner infidelity? Or does a perhaps older axiom hold true, that being "I'm married, not dead." ?
Maybe... Being with another girl as well isn't wrong, maybe people were just tought this way, and now they have fear that something horrible could happen?
It all boils down to expectations of the partners and the established situation understood by each. If partners both clearly understand the casual nature of the relationship, and are OK with promiscuity in the relationship, then so be it. Have a ball and keep safe. If that is not the case, then one or both sides have been lead on to believe that the relationship is exclusive. When a partner cheats within an exclusive relationship, that is absolutely inexcusable. They are a class A scumbag.
@Ratty: There is a difference between being tempted and caving into the urge to act on that temptation. Certainly thoughts can become toxic, but the better man files away the thoughts and doesn't cheat.
It all boils down to expectations of the partners and the established situation understood by each. If partners both clearly understand the casual nature of the relationship, and are OK with promiscuity in the relationship, then so be it. Have a ball and keep safe. If that is not the case, then one or both sides have been lead on to believe that the relationship is exclusive. When a partner cheats within an exclusive relationship, that is absolutely inexcusable. They are a class A scumbag.
What if the guy or girl doesn't realize the other thinks it's an exclusive relationship?
Man... In my case, i wouldn't consider it definitely cheating, nor just cheat anyone like this, with the "pure" intention of making them sad.. Even if for revenge... No...
I'm just a bit confused with my emotions. Although i've been thinking too much on a girl these last days...
And i just can't take her out of my mind... I.. I think i love her, maybe?
But what is love? Is this love that i'm feeling? How do i know that?
Maybe.... Maybe i really, really, REALLY DO love her... I just can't get why.
Why doesn't she talk to me? And why the hell can't i just wait for her?
And then these two girls came... They seemed so nice.. I really think they're very nice, and it's not because of a lustful desire.
I mean, i still like them. As well. They're both amazing girls!
But, i don't know what to do.. Should i wait for my first girl? This one i can't stop thinking about?
Should i still keep these two relationships? And my feelings for them as well?
Or... Should i break it? Should i just kill it, give it a stop and focus on one only girl?
But man... What about them? I DO care about them, i don't wanna make them sad, nor disappointed... I don't want to make them suffer...
And i still keep thinking about her... And the distance between us.. The last time we talked.. Then she came at me and said "good night"..
She is still online, sometimes.. But she doesn't talk to me anymore.. Why? Is this something i did?
I still feel rejected seing that she doesn't talk to me, even when seing me online..
I know, she's got her problems... And then, maybe she's just having some time on Web so she could distract herself and forget about those real life problems of hers a little bit, nothing much...
Argh, maybe i just have to leave her alone for a while... But how longer should i wait until she's got on the mood to talk to me once again?
I DO know i should respect her privacy, and her freedom.. But.. I'm afraid.. That maybe she could forgive me.. Or maybe be sad with me, or maybe not feel well.. That something bad could happen to her, something i don't know about...
This damn worry.. And all this curiosity of mine... All this fear that she could never be able to come back and say "hi" again...
I miss her... I miss her so much..
You really are creepy. You know that, right?
He's only human and that's all anyone should ever expect out of another human being, especially those of the religious faith.
Communication man.
Talk to this special girl, does she return the way you feel? If yes, then she probably wants to be exclusive, ask her if she does. If not, then decide if you want to be with one or both of the other girls. Talk to them, tell them truthfully how you feel about them and ask each if they want to be exclusive. This is a specific interpersonal question and not a general or philosophical question you're asking, talk to the people involved, not us. They will know how they feel about the situtation and their place in it a lot better than we ever could, and they deserve for you to be honest and frank with them.
Argh... Who do i want to lie to?
I freakin know that my feeling for her is different, special.
About the others, i dont really think i feel the same thing..
And i cant force myself to stay with them. Maybe as friends, but thats another thing. I would be lying to both girls, and myself as well. And my girl, too..
Yeah.. I should talk to them. I should be frantic with them. But i dont want to make them sad, i just dont want to live a lie, nor force them to it, either.
I think it's the best thing to do, surely.
Thanks for supporting me on this, guys. :)
I don't really expect for you to understand such a thing, though...
Argh... Who do i want to lie to?
Yeah. Can't say I understand such a thing.
I stand by my post.
Yes, all good relationships are built on honesty and trust, you can't have one without the other. Being honest and upfront with all of these girls is the right thing to do.
No, man.. Yes, i am human.. But it's not that simple.. And i'm not religious though.
The statement I posted wasn't towards you Lone Wolf so I do apologize for the mix-up :) I guess i should have worded it like this: Lone Wolf's only human and that's all anyone should ever expect out of another human being, especially those of the religious faith.