Searching for the most obscure of obscure on eBay, picked up a Windows 95 game called Zyclunt (renamed Blade Warrior for the US). First game from Phantagram (Kingdom Under Fire series), and it's fucking awesome! It's an arcade style 2D platform-hack n slasher set in the future.
You wield a light sword and cut the shit out of robots, and it's extremely satisfying! Aside from gameplay, the graphics and music are also top notch(soundtrack is easily accessed and ripped with iTunes)! It feels like Strider, Splatterhouse, Final Fight and Contra had a baby. It's a tough SOB, didn't get very far yet, but stage 6... Castlevania
Stage 6 is a castle, and it has Castlevania esque music, with skull enemies, creepy paintings on the wall, and amazingly Simon Belmont as a boss battle... I'm not kidding lol. You fight an armoured man with long hair who attacks using a whip (which has a tip very reminiscent of Rygar's weapon). He even jumps and diagonally attacks you with it. I do wanna beat the game soon and hopefully find some more cool shit like that