Topic: Fan Fiction: CV- Claws Of Fate

[Kit-Karamak]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3325846/1/The_Claws_Of_Fate

It's set 10 years after the SORROW series for the GBA and DS.

The cast from that series

[Kale]

HOLY CRAP... thats log... maybe i'll look at it later.

[Kit-Karamak]

In Reply To #2

At least you're honest!

YEah, the first 10 chapters are finished and posted. 

[Jorge D. Fuentes]

In Reply To #3

Yeah this looks like it'll be a weekend kinda read, not something I can pick up and read real quick.

Maybe I'll give it a shot when I've got time.  Sorry... :\

[Kit-Karamak]

In Reply To #4

Fair enough.  Let me know what you guys think when you get the chance.

Most people just read a chapter here or a chapter there... but I hope someone has some thoughts, suggestions, opinions or otherwise offers some sort of feedback on these first 10 chapters.  (I'm still writing it, so... you know... help with crafting it is always appreciated. )

Also, chapter 5 has slight sexual content, that's why I didn't post it out on this forum directly, as the terms of service are pretty clear on this site when I signed up for it.  So... yeah.  I mean, you can't have evil vampires and crap without having someone trying to seduce someone - it's just not done :-O 

Either way, I did it as a form of comedy to make the main character feel awkward in the Den of Iniquity.  xD

[Blue Cheese]

Dang. Really well done and not at all fan-fictiony if you know what I mean. I haven't plodded through all of it yet but I like the cinematic pacing. And the Alucard bit at the beginning goes a long way to make things a lot less clich

[Quasar]

In Reply To #1

Looks like a good start to me. Good use of figurative language, very few usage or grammar issues, and just about the right level of descriptiveness. I'm at work so I was only able to scan the stuff after the intro section, but I'll check it out again later and read it fully.

I hope that you will read my fanfic as well (it is linked in my sig) -- but not yet. I'm working on a massive rewriting project for it, so the chapters that currently exist will be different once it's finished. Mainly I'm absorbing several short chapters into fewer longer ones, so that they'll be more comparable to the length of chapters in a book. I'm also working on cutting out some unnecessary wordiness, which is my greatest weakness as an author.

[Kit-Karamak]

In Reply To #7

Hey, please do let me know when I can read it; it would be my pleasure. 

I get wordy at times then I try to, you know, hold back. lol

Hey, every wordy prose over 90 years old is pretty much harolded as a "classic" and a "masterpiece" anymore.  Maybe we should bring back wordiness!

ahem.

ANYhow, Blue, Quasar, thank you both for reading thus-far.

My manager at work is a castlevania fan and said he'll read it and offer brutal feedback, but he hasn't been well lately.  He hasn't read very far into it, but suggested that I describe characters as if I was writing the story for a non-CV fan, just in case... It kinda makes sense, y'know?  So I might (later) build the cast a little deeper...

The story gets very research-driven later... what i mean by that is:  I did hours and hours of research on the real dracula, the real castle, his real mortal bloodline descendents, The Book of Revalations, Mythology, Japanese, American, European, Archaic European lore, etc...

I put a little heart into it, y'know?  I also introduce an aspect that may or may not surprise people... I have an intelligent and timeless character tell Julius something about Leon's grandparents.  ...A suggestion, on her part, of how the Belmonts received their power to be 'superhuman'.  I did ancient cultural research on lore for that.

Stuff.  I'll eventually finish chapter 11 and post that when I'm able.

[Marto]

I adored it. Read it twice actually just because of how much I liked J.J.'s description. He seems like a character that will play more than the role he's displaying.

After all, if she's been through there so many times, how come not only has the castle appeared nowhere before her, but also his home? Rather strange on his part to also know her whereabouts and pop up behind her with a history lesson in the middle of the detachment of the Castle from the realm of reality.

I liked the way you worked with Alucard. It was very true to his personality, and definitely showed a good depth on how he will probably always be 'Tormented in his dreams moreso than anything.

Also, is Father Belmondo somehow related to the Belmonts? I mean, obviously he shares the same family name, simply the Japanese variant, yet how would that be possible considering that Julius was said to be the last one.

Also, not that it's something that I truly care about, but will Soma be making an appearance? I wonder how he's doing, that androgynously fun Dracula, he.

Looking forward to Part Two!~ (When will it be out?)

[Kit-Karamak]

the first TEN chapters are already posted! 

james johnson IS more than bmeets the eye! but he stays quiet for quite sometime.

the main character is related to julius.  I write that the belmundo family is related to the belmonts as a priestly order. lol.

julius is the  last and most current whip wielder but... well you'll see.

in my story, I use real world info about real vlad tepes, so I write he died in the late 1300s.  he's  reincarnated as vlad tepes in the 1400s, reacquires the crimson stone and becomes dracula again ... which is  bad because that stone makes its way back to the castle on accident... hmmm.

just click the right arrow at the top right side to go to the next chapter.  im writing chapter ELEVEN this weekend so this story will be updated again soon.

thanks for reading and I appreciate your feeddback!

[Quasar]

In Reply To #10

It's quite possible that Mathias Cronqvist is meant to die and be reborn in some way as Vlad Tepes, though you'll probably find that idea will meet with violent response from certain forum members here   One thing that has made me ponder the possibility of that is what Dmitrii Blinov said in Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow after he emerged from Soma's body. He said, "I touched that boy's soul. I saw his previous lives." Lives, in the plural, making it sound like perhaps there was more than one cycle of reincarnation in the timespan that we have been shown.

Of course naysayers will rather assume that this is either some kind of translation problem, or that he's referring to other lives even before Mathias Cronqvist, which remains a possibility, though the idea is less compelling because it refers unnecessarily to events that will remain forever external to the CV timeline.

Anyway, upon reading your story in full detail, I was quite pleased. And I will let you know as soon as my rewrite effort on Crescent Moon Concerto is complete. I believe it will not disappoint ^_^

[Kale]

Finally got around to reading the first chapter, its prey good imo. I got kind of bored towards the endof the first chapter though.

[Kit-Karamak]

In Reply To #12

understandable.  I hated building the characters... it was boring and basically just feeding information to the reader.

But once you get to chapter 2 and 3, where the transformation happens, the police show up where someone was impaled, the Turkish Prime Minister gets ... well you'll see. ^_^

Action picks up and stays more consistant once the main characters are AT the Castle in the middle of the afternoon, with the cops all around... You'll see.

Thanks for reading thus far, though.

[Kit-Karamak]

okay I've posted chapter 11, finally.

I'm working on 12 even though I promised myself I'd finish a Sly Cooper story and at least update a StarFox story first... I can't help it... I just keep coming back to the good stuff xD

Julius finds himself in the midst of a very attractive liar, Alucard plots to 'kill' Genya Arikado so he can go back to sleep, and Yoko's beau (Remember Hammer?) helps two innocent humans make their way from the castle to the sanctuary of the courtyard near the entrance. 

For anyone that has read the first 10 chapters, this new one is more of a history lesson than a gore fest like some of the middle chapters... Don't worry, though... I'll return to the wanton blood and guts action I usually write, when I do chapter 12.


-K

[rjarana]

This is pretty good stuff. I've got a lot of respect for fan fiction writers. It must have taken a lot of dedication to work this. Hopefully I'll be getting my printer up and running again cause reading off a computer monitor is a pain in the ass.