Even if you only share a few common interests that should be good enough if you both maintain mutual respect those interests you don't share. You both have to be mature enough to be ok with the things you don't share in common. And it doesn't matter what it is you're in to. Porn, D&D, drag racing, doesn't matter. If she can't respect the things you like, then she isn't ready for a serious relationship.
I think porn (actual porn, not some dumb exploitation movie with lots of nudity) is going too far for most women and reasonably so. 'Cos face it, you're watching that stuff to get your rocks off and you're seeing women (or men, or goats, or...) getting plowed and creamed all over. It's pretty rotten business for a man claiming devotion to his woman to be into. No woman should have to put up with or respect her man's interest in porn, IMO. I see it as very unloving, even if you're not a religious couple. Unless of course you're with one of those rare girls who are pornomaniacs. I still think porn amidst the relationship will cause problems, but hey...maybe some can make it work.
But on the other areas I agree. Something that bugs me about the girl I'm really into is I'll sometimes bring up that it bugs me the way she gets after me about what I like, and she'll say, "But you don't like what I like!" to which I point out to her that I don't try to take that away from her; she's free to enjoy what she does, I realize it brings her great joy and it makes me smile because of it. I sometimes jokingly call her a cheeseball and say, "Figures you'd laugh at that," but I'm just joking around with her and I think she realizes that. (She can be very hard to read in that she sometimes laughs or smiles even if she doesn't fully mean it; something could have ignited or be brewing inside where she changes her feelings on something later.)
And I do agree that she must be pretty insecure if she's whipping up such a fury about boobs in movies. I've told her, "If I date a woman, it will be no small decision, and if her and I get married, I will be with her the rest of my life making it work out in any way I can and my love, devotion, and sexual attention will be HERS. No exceptions. And something I see in a movie isn't going to make me think, 'Gee, I wish my wife had knockers like those!' If a husband sees some outrageously pretty woman walking down the street and turns his head to notice, his wife shouldn't have fear because she ought to be comfortable in the fact that out of ALL the women in the world, he chose HER to be with." To which she replies, "I know the guy probably won't be that way, but to the girl it will ALWAYS be that way, always on her mind. She'll be comparing herself to these other women and being upset at even the THOUGHT that her husband could be doing the same." Which definitely sounds more like insecurity than something religious; I've thought about asking other Christian women I know (those my age, I mean) about this and find out what they have to say, but part of me's kinda timid about it, thinking that might be a little inappropriate. (And yeah, before anyone thinks it's all too weird we're discussing marriage both in a general sense and pondering about it when it comes to the two of us together, we're both of the mindset that we don't want to date anyone unless marriage is a good possibility, marriage being "the ultimate goal." So it'd be a little more like courting in that sense, though not strictly so.)
And she sees these as moral issues; my interest in exploitative entertainment has to do with spiritual immaturity, she claims, thinking God doesn't want that for my life. The odd thing is, over all the years I've given it extensive thought, I've never once felt God ring alarm bells like He has other areas of my life that I see now
needed change, rather I'm always feeling guilted by other believers who have more a traditional way of thinking. I've told her this and said that even if I were to get rid of "objectionable" entertainment, it won't necessarily change me or kill my desire to enjoy those things, because I'd be doing it for her and not for God, and can she live with that? to which I haven't yet gotten an answer.
The truth of the matter is, you will not find many people of your type. It is a lonely road to embrace the goals of religion, without following it step by step as it was 2000 years ago. That is, at least in my experience.
It's a lonely road indeed. The gals into the kindsa thing I like (gruesome horror movies, industrial music, etc.) are almost always of the liberal atheist variety, whereas the Christian gals tend to come in two packages: the ones who are open to the stuff I show them and don't give me beef usually end up compromising in areas where I think it's definitely wrong for a Christian to compromise and their devotion to their faith wanes; but the more common ones I come across who are strong and faithful tend to be way too morally conservative to the point of ridiculous excess that it almost no longer seems like genuine Christian faith but more like Quakerism or somesuch.
One thing I absolutely know for sure is that no matter how well I get along with a girl, if she doesn't hold on to my moral, religious, and even political beliefs (in the general sense and on the biggest issues; I know two people can never be alike), I don't want to be with her, because I know it will bring me great sadness to be with a woman who doesn't hold on to these convictions and have God as her focus in life, because that's of utmost importance to me. But it just seems so hopeless sometimes because it feels like the only way I can experience someone in this way, in being a Christian married couple hopefully raising kids, I'll have to make a lot of changes to myself. Change and compromise are inevitable when you're bringing two people together, but for me this issue is less about "boobs and 'adult content' in movies" and more about overall morality and strictness and what's considered right and wrong. I don't want to be nagged at all my life because I told my son an innocent joke that's deemed by the wife to be inappropriate and sinful. I never want to be tied down to someone who's going to make me miserable in that way and who won't allow me to be myself.
And again, she's loosened up a lot in the nearly four years I've known her. When we first met, she thought I was the weirdest damn thing on the planet (well, still thinks that, but more used to it) and she used to get REALLY surprised at and worried about me because "YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING THAT!!!" To which I've always asked, "Why?" and she goes, "I...I.......I don't know!" I've explained to her my views on things, a lot of which she's thought deeply about and said, "That makes sense. I've never heard somebody put it that way." Which again she has to ask herself, "Does this make sense or am I compromising on my faith?" With her brain injury, I hate to say it but she doesn't always come to her own conclusions. That is, it's not exactly natural to her. I know she has a spark of her own identity because she tells me how her mom and her get into arguments over how to handle things, so I know she wants to do many things differently than what her mother's taught her to do. I just wonder how different she'll be regarding faith issues if she's out of the house and a bit detached from her overly-strict parents. I had strict parents too, but they allowed me to play video games and make certain jokes, and even the things they didn't care for they generally still allowed me to do. And I guess that's the difference: I honor my father and mother without thinking I have to obey every last word or inclination that they have. I listen to advice from them, but if I think about it and choose to go a different way, no harm. That's not dishonoring them. My relationship with God is between myself and Him; my parents should not be mediators, and I feel that in my friend's life, her parents are. I think they're overly protective of her not just because she's their daughter but also because of her brain injury. And it's a legitimate concern, there just comes a point where they need to let go; they've done an amazing job raising her, and she's almost 27 now, so perhaps she needs to start seeing the world through her own eyes and making her own decisions.
Also, weren't Catholics supposed to be more conservative than Protestants? Is it the other way around now?
From my own experience, Catholics tend to be much more liberal, both morally and politically. A lot of Catholic teens and young adults think they can get around the "no fornication" rule by having anal sex, because it's not actual intercourse if a vagina's not involved, amirite? A lot of Protestants—especially teens—are stupid in that way too, don't get me wrong, but a conservative Protestant is more likely (at least here in Minnesota) than a conservative Catholic.