That ended well.
As much fun as fanfics can be, it isn't a scene I follow. This is my first (and, lest I catch wind of anything featuring Persephones, Venus Weeds, and whichever hot CV monsters I'm forgetting) fanfic of yours I've read and it left a pleasant taste.
First of all there were certain descriptions I enjoyed: the whip's "texture of serpent skin", hell yes, because that reminded me of exactly how the leathern weapon was illustrated on boxart and in magazines; that phrase invoked images of its stitching. Among other gem moments were the X68k BGM and "stucco-covered meat".
Second, I praise your casting. When I worked in a library ages ago I managed to print most of the fanfics on The Dungeon and collected them into a couple of binders which I still have. There was one thing that irked me the most about them: there were rarely any enemies featured. You not only served on that front, but you included one of the most obscure CV creatures I've ever enjoyed, so MAJOR props to you on that one.
Which other CV sexygirls have you wielded in words?