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Offline Mooning Freddy

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Have you ever felt that no one understands you?
« on: June 03, 2011, 12:38:18 PM »
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Yeah, I know that the topic sounds like some teenage emo-rant, but seriously though.

Have you ever had a subject that you wanted to discuss or an idea, and really wished you could tell someone about it but never had, because you knew "nobody cares about it anyway"? It sometimes makes me depressed because even with my closest friends, there are some things I can't discuss. Me and my friends don't share many interests, and although I like them, I feel like none of them REALLY knows me.
Most people usually like me, because I'm quite friendly and can get along with almost anyone. Even when I don't like a person, or I'm annoyed by him, I'd rather ignore him than let him know. Not the healthiest behavior ever; I know, because I frown until I can no longer take it, and then I explode in outbursts of rage that leave everyone around shocked, and myself full of remorse. It happened to me a couple of times in the army.
I always try to make an impression so people would like me, but it's hard, and leaves you with a feeling of unfulfillment.   
Anyway, if someone ever felt similar, please share your emotions.
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Offline Dark Nemesis

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Re: Have you ever felt that no one understands you?
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2011, 01:27:12 PM »
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Yes, i have the same problems with you and i also am a very friendly and open to others person and because of that, they tend to tell me all the problems they have, expecting from me to comfort them.

My best friends also they don't know me 100% and i also sometimes feel that they don't underestand me or the thinks that i do and why i did them........resulting in that sometimes, i don't feel that comfortable to tell an idea of mine or how i feel, because i afraid that they will not underestand me and that they will start to criticize me.

We don't like to be alone, but we also don't like to be with others sometimes........
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Offline Successor The Cruel

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Re: Have you ever felt that no one understands you?
« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2011, 01:39:37 PM »
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I think I understand where you're coming from. You know, people like me as well, but I don't have an overabundance of friends and I'm fine with that. People actually go out of their way to try to be my friend (for some reason), and after a while of being with them, they often really start to bother me. They say and do niggling/insulting/inconsiderate things that rub me the wrong way, and understandably so. Those things pile up and I eventually cut ties with them. I don't often make a big scene about it, I just... avoid them, I guess, until they get the hint. This has happened more than once and I wondered if something was wrong with me sometimes... like, maybe I'm too irritable, or something. Then I realized that most people do get bothered by things like that, but they put up with those things and then vent about them to other people, put up with them more, vent more, and so on and so on. I just break things off. If people are bringing me stress into my life, I don't need them there. Of course, I have really good friends that doesn't happen with.

About the "nobody cares" thing, I think the internet can help with that. For example, I can't go on at length with too many people I know personally about Castlevania, but I have plenty of online pals (like beingthehero, for example) that I can talk to about that. I'm not going to inconvenience people who couldn't care less with my ramblings about my favorite game series. Likewise, beingthehero isn't going to want to hear about my vintage Fender amplifier or about the differences between a Fender American Standard Telecaster and a Fender American Special Telecaster, so I go to people who will. This can apply to things of a more personal nature, as well. If you feel no one you personally know will care about what you have to say about something you want to discuss, there are places you can go online where you know people will hear you out.

But, yeah, I've definitely had... "friends" who I feel I don't know, and who I feel don't know me. That's an interesting spot to be in sometimes.
« Last Edit: June 03, 2011, 01:45:04 PM by Successor The Red »

Offline Claimh Solais

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Re: Have you ever felt that no one understands you?
« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2011, 01:52:43 PM »
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This is something I can relate to.

I get this feeling that no matter where I'm at, people just don't give a rat's *expletive* that I'm there, sometimes. I'll try to talk to people about my interests, and they have no idea what I'm talking about. And then eventually people start ignoring me cuz apparently I get annoying, which I won't deny. I do talk a lot. I can actually stop for a moment and think about the people that really do understand me, and the number isn't a very big one, I'll tell you that. Constantly cuz of this feeling of "not being understood", I tend to think I'm useless.

And I agree with Successor. The internet is actually place where you can get away from that crap. I love Castlevania, but there's not really anyone I know personally that does, too. But then I found places like the Dungeon or the CVBla board that actually talk about it and love it as much as I do. And then to get rid of that "useless" factor about me, I took up spriting, or the ability to create, rip, gain any resource I could for people here or anyone who needs them.

Some people find that a pathetic way to cope with things, but that's just annoying. I find it a reasonable way to deal with things.
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Offline Successor The Cruel

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Re: Have you ever felt that no one understands you?
« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2011, 02:10:52 PM »
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And then to get rid of that "useless" factor about me, I took up spriting, or the ability to create, rip, gain any resource I could for people here or anyone who needs them.

Some people find that a pathetic way to cope with things, but that's just annoying. I find it a reasonable way to deal with things.

That's actually a really good thing to do. I learned at a very young age (actually, it just came naturally to me) how to entertain myself. Sometimes my friends would be out doing nothing in particular, and I'd be cooped up in my house doing something I felt was enriching, like learning HTML, Flash, Photoshop, working on my website, working on my music and getting better at that, exercising, and so on. In the end, that turned out a heck of a lot more fulfilling than getting together with them and screwing around. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with hanging out with friends, but being overly reliant on them to have a good time is bad.

Friends have been like that with me and I've seen some people just shatter into a million pieces when I cut ties with them, due to them bugging the crap out of me (I know that sounds mean, but I always had good reasons). Because without me there was this big gaping hole in their life that they couldn't fill because they didn't really have a lot going on there that wasn't somehow depending on me. That's a dangerous way to live. For instance, recently, I... um... kicked the other guitar player in my band out (again, good reasons), and the guy was shattered. I mean, brought to tears... I'd never seen him like that before.
« Last Edit: June 03, 2011, 02:13:40 PM by Successor The Red »

Offline Claimh Solais

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Re: Have you ever felt that no one understands you?
« Reply #5 on: June 03, 2011, 02:25:35 PM »
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That's actually a really good thing to do. I learned at a very young age (actually, it just came naturally to me) how to entertain myself. Sometimes my friends would be out doing nothing in particular, and I'd be cooped up in my house doing something I felt was enriching, like learning HTML, Flash, Photoshop, working on my website, working on my music and getting better at that, exercising, and so on. In the end, that turned out a heck of a lot more fulfilling than getting together with them and screwing around. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with hanging out with friends, but being overly reliant on them to have a good time is bad.

Friends have been like that with me and I've seen some people just shatter into a million pieces when I cut ties with them, due to them bugging the crap out of me (I know that sounds mean, but I always had good reasons). Because without me there was this big gaping hole in their life that they couldn't fill because they didn't really have a lot going on there that wasn't somehow depending on me. That's a dangerous way to live. For instance, recently, I... um... kicked the other guitar player in my band out (again, good reasons), and the guy was shattered. I mean, brought to tears... I'd never seen him like that before.

When someone is over-reliant on you, then yeah, cutting ties (even temporarily) is a good way to show them that they'll have to go on without you. They can't keep piggybacking off you and stuff. Same goes vice versa. You can't keep piggying off of others (not directed at anyone, by the way).
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Offline X

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Re: Have you ever felt that no one understands you?
« Reply #6 on: June 03, 2011, 06:31:17 PM »
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Have you ever felt that no one understands you?

This is me in frigg'n spades. I was born learning disabled and it's NOT fun. I could never learn things the others could and would feel frustrated and angry. Being picked on, disrespected and treated like an outcast was my cross to bare. I lived my entire life (so far) with only being 50% aware of it. Being a natural loner was kind of a savings grace for me during this turbulent time. While I do have some friends, they are far and few while the rest are acquaintances (good ones, mind you). There were times that I even considered suicide because I felt that nobody could understand me. I would sit by myself and have nagging contemplations of how I would take my own life. Depression was also on a high note for me as well. Whenever I tried to tell people things that I had on my mind, I just couldn't. It wasn't just that I made the conscious decision to not speak my mind, it was the fact that I could not get my thoughts out of my mouth without screwing up the translation process. Even thoughts that were on the tip of my tongue would suddenly drop out of my mind for some unknown reason, leaving me in a blank state and making me feel stupid and utterly useless. Since going down south about seven years ago for some special schooling, I'm much better then I was before I left. However this was also very dangerous for me as becoming more aware of myself also brought up some extremely painful memories that I really wasn't aware of before. The depression has lessened a lot more but unfortunately it has since been replaced by my inner anger and rage. I do well to hide it and nobody really notices it or even cares. I've never physically harmed anyone and that was of my own choice as I did make a silent promises to myself; Harm thyself before harming others. While this is extremely unhealthy (and painful) it has it's benefits. Even today I feel that nobody understands me. Even if I'm on the ball and know what I'm talking about, others will simply brush me off as if I'm still that little bastard child with a broken mind. I know that I've changed inside but some still don't get it and see me in the other light that I wish would simply switch off.

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Offline Pemburu Vampir

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Re: Have you ever felt that no one understands you?
« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2011, 07:32:58 PM »
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I don't have any friend anymore (because of my depression). But my family, especially my father understands me.

Offline Claimh Solais

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Re: Have you ever felt that no one understands you?
« Reply #8 on: June 03, 2011, 07:47:26 PM »
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I don't have any friend anymore (because of my depression). But my family, especially my father understands me.

I can relate to this especially.
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Offline Gunlord

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Re: Have you ever felt that no one understands you?
« Reply #9 on: June 03, 2011, 09:54:32 PM »
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I used to feel that way. As I grew older, though...not so much. Sure, there are a bunch of people I'm acquainted with who don't understand me so well (though nowadays not so much either, most of those people on Livejournal, for instance, d-friended a while ago), but at this stage of my life I've also got folks who really do get me, and who I know I can talk with about anything and who I know have got my back. Heck, even some folks I haven't known for years and years really do get me to some extent--always willing to lend me a friendly ear, at least. Some are from the CV fandom; folks like Jimmy or PFG or Jorge or Bloodreign. Others are from other places. But wherever they're from, their friendship is enough to give me one spark of light I can look at and say, "I'm not alone," no matter how dark it is around me.

Haha, sorry for the melodrama. I think I may just be unusually lucky in that regard. Still, you never know...even if you feel nobody understands you, who knows? Maybe you'll find someone who does where you least expect it. :D

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Offline Claimh Solais

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Re: Have you ever felt that no one understands you?
« Reply #10 on: June 03, 2011, 10:09:23 PM »
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Haha, sorry for the melodrama. I think I may just be unusually lucky in that regard. Still, you never know...even if you feel nobody understands you, who knows? Maybe you'll find someone who does where you least expect it. :D

Funny how much this quote relates to what you said.
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Offline Abnormal Freak

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Re: Have you ever felt that no one understands you?
« Reply #11 on: June 04, 2011, 05:03:37 AM »
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I don't think two people, no matter how similar those two people are, can ever really "get" one another fully. There will always be things that perplex us about another person. So the "Me too, me too!"s are a tad ridiculous, because I'm sure everybody in the world can relate to this.
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Offline Claimh Solais

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Re: Have you ever felt that no one understands you?
« Reply #12 on: June 04, 2011, 06:00:12 AM »
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because I'm sure everybody in the world can relate to this.

Some can relate more than others, cuz some of us think that no one understands them more than others. It's more or less natural to agree with others, you know. Just sayin'. :P
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Offline Mooning Freddy

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Re: Have you ever felt that no one understands you?
« Reply #13 on: June 04, 2011, 07:16:09 AM »
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I'm happy that I'm not the only one who ever feels this way, and I'm glad that I created a subject many can relate to.
Well, I don't think that everyone can relate to this. I've met my share of people who seem to be always satisfied with their lives and never feel lonely or "misplaced".

There was this guy whom I spoke with in the army. Were were chatting about our hobbies and lives where we lived. I told him that I studied in a very large High school, and hardly knew anyone in there except my class.
He responded that he studied in a school just as big as mine , but unlike me, he knew every single person who studied there.
This surprised me, as it obviously didn't make sense. I said, "really?"
And he answered, "yeah, when I had a birthday, I invited my entire school."
"Why would you?"
"Why wouldn't I? They're all my friends."
This is where I realized the conversation isn't gonna become any more interesting. The guy was either trying to show off, or had a far wider definition to "friend" than I had. 
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Offline Claimh Solais

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Re: Have you ever felt that no one understands you?
« Reply #14 on: June 04, 2011, 07:55:03 AM »
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Yeah, there are those egotistical pricks that have never once felt misunderstood. >.>
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