The heroic view of Lee is not quite correct, but neither is the villainous one. I think people forget that historical figures were human too. Lee was only a man.
That said, he did not support the civil war, he had no real desire for it. He was a graduate of West Point, just like Grant. It is true however, that he only joined the confederacy because it was his home state. he did not want to fight against his home state, so he decided to fight with it. And when he was enlisted as a general, he did his job. Consider: to the CSA, the Federal Govt in washington was illegitimate and THEY were the legitimate government. So when they had set themselves up, they created a military and filled positions. Lee was chosen as a General in the confederate army, just like Grant was in the Union army.
As for Lee's personal life, If I recall correctly, he was not born into wealth, I think he may have inherited a few slaves, but he was a military man, so for most of his life i don't think he cared much about it one way or another. He DID marry into a wealthy slave owning family though, and the word is he was pretty rough in his discipline of them.
After the war, he was given special pardon, as were most confederate soldiers and military personnel, in the sake of reconciliation and reunification. He was an advocate for the North's re-constructionist efforts, and if I'm remembering properly, he didn't want any statues or special commemoration.
So in a way, it's the Andrew Jackson irony, of a controversial figure who really didn't want specific commemoration, getting it posthumously anyway.
But I think these days people are way too eager to bury the past.
These days, over time the confederacy was sort of flanderized from a bloody and horrible civil war that pitted brother against brother, into a sort of rebellion and rivalry between the north and the south, with little historical or cultural context, since the 1800's are pretty far removed in every way from modern day. The Confederate flag is a prime example. The south has ALWAYS been a very different place from the North culturally, for better and for worse, for one reason or another, and that will never change. since the civil war, the south sort of prided itself in being the rebellious part of the US. as a matter of preserving dignity. Otherwise, what is there to be proud of when you seceded from the union over slavery? The south over time convinced itself that there were other reasons, and to be fair, it's true. Slavery was not the only dividing factor in the secession. Though it was the biggest.
And that just became a part of the southern fiber. That "rebellious streak". Texas own unique history leads them ESPECIALLY to be independent and rebellious.
But to just overnight try to quash what has been a part of southern culture for decades, is pretty ignorant. Though then again, these are the same people who want to get rid of the Columbus statue in NY, so ignorance is basically the order of the day.
Personally, I think leave the statues be. This kind of replacement of confederate statues and such needs to come about organically. It cannot be this mandate imposed on the states from up on high, or it becomes exactly the kind of "aggression" that the south always claims. people are becoming exactly the kind of boogeyman that conservative southerners especially- always complain about, but what's worse is it's done without a hint of irony or self awareness.
Not to mention, the removal of the statues is part of a bigger problem, which is the current trend of historical revisionism and censorship. The idea of erasing and destroying any part of history that could be offensive or unpleasant. (Especially when it fulfills political agendas and ideology) And that is the bigger problem here than just the one statue.
Those who do not learn from history, and in fact actively try to suppress it, are doomed to repeat it. There's a reason political ideology tends to be like a pendulum. one side goes to extremes, and there is pushback to the other direction, et infinitum.