Well, Simon would tear the living daylights out of anybody, because he is basically a puritan, Probably would knock Ritchet block off, because Maria is like the only living man in her life, who is like the only thing near to a father, or big brother to her. Even beat the snot out of Goodie-Goodie-Drac because he is the devil and nothing more, even give Satan a new lease on the word slain. Simon would also hanging out with God, contemplating how humans need more laws. Simon would literally rip of the last of the Belmont ( the one who killed himself in LOTS ) tattoo, that is right, that Belmont had a bloody Tatoo, that is defacement of the body, and slash and hack it to bits, leaving a messed up scar on his chest.
Original Maria would call new Maria a ditz brain, for wanting bigger boobs, since her nice slim, hard body, was for not having breasts. She would even tell her to dress up like a girl and not like a dude. Finally she would get angry at older Maria for not saving herself for Ritchet, because Alucard, is really the great, great, great, great, great, great grand father of Ritchet, and how the blazes would that even workout......I am pretty sure the usage, of male gametes have a timeline, what does he have magical male gametes?
Sonya would rip-off the armor off of old Maria, because it is obviously stolen, and meant to show her as a rebirth of her. Just come right up to her, and rip-off the armor. Old Maria would say, to neo-Maria, that breast would hold me, down. Old Maria would tell original Maria to jump on his face, like in that animation ( the face-hugger leg girl ), so he can take her seriously, because that is the best she will ever get, in her timeline.
Sonya would tell old Maria to stay away from her man, or else she would come down from heavan and become the first female Dracula.
Original Alucard, would give his newer, more-male-hoar self a good clean shave, and tell him to stop being more like his kiddie self, from Kid Dracula.
Kid Dracula would tell Alucard, to be more like his father and rule the underworld with an iron fist.
Galtorn ( whatever space monster ) would go back in time ( or whatever ) and tell his Egyptian self, to just fly around like the NES game, because he is more deadly that way.
Dracula would tell neo Dracula to stop being the hero and go back to being ruler of the underworld.
Death would tell himself to stop working for Dracula and just go into the whatever time warp and work for the space monsters, already, apparently Konami is going to hand the rights to a hack, and chop up Dracula the devil, and turn the series into "Millennium". Also they will have Sushi, and Godzilla would be your roommate.
Lame, old old old old Carmella would tell her ROB ( is that her or somebody else ) self to be slow when sucking out Ritchets body. It is about as good as her entire role in this entire series will ever get, next to being cat woman, after that it is downhill scripts for her, in an old pugly body, with lame constumes, and how she even turns into a lizard. Also that girl from the N64 game replaces her, so enjoy ROB while it lasts.
Alucard would wonder why his father form is him, latched on to Alien, body, oh wait, I know it is the space monster from that same year,
but minus -10000