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Offline Crying Freeman

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Amazon description of Legends
« on: November 29, 2015, 09:33:00 AM »
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Below is the manufacturer description of Legends on Amazon... Just read it.

"A full moon rises on Castlevania Legends the first GameBoy title since 1991 in the wildly popular vampire hunting series. The feminine twist to this entry has pony-tailed Sonja Belmont cracking her whip on all sorts of things that go bump in the night. Hardly a Y chromosome is in sight as Sonja the sister of longtime Castlevania hero Simon Belmont searches a gloomy castle for Count Dracula himself."

Offline X

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Re: Amazon description of Legends
« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2015, 11:10:32 AM »
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1) That read was hilarious.

2) They obviously didn't do their research as Sonia isn't Simon's sister. Though that would make for an interesting twist.
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Offline Belmontoya

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Re: Amazon description of Legends
« Reply #2 on: November 29, 2015, 11:42:58 AM »
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That's embarrassing...
The worst monsters are human.

Offline Crying Freeman

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Re: Amazon description of Legends
« Reply #3 on: November 29, 2015, 02:41:32 PM »
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1) That read was hilarious.

2) They obviously didn't do their research as Sonia isn't Simon's sister. Though that would make for an interesting twist.

Obviously. They even mispeed as Sonja. This isn't Red Sonja XD But hey, they both are blonde

Offline Lumi Kløvstad

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Re: Amazon description of Legends
« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2015, 08:09:00 PM »
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"Hardly a Y Chromosome in sight"

That had me bawling. And apparently Alucard and Dracula are women. Or have Down's Syndrome in a big way.
How not to be a dark lord: the answer to that is a terribly interesting answer that involves an almost Jedi-like adherence to keeping oneself under control and finding ways to be true to yourself in a way that doesn't encourage the worst parts of you to become dangerously exaggerated and instead feeds your better nature. Also, protip: don't fuck with Alchemy or strike up any deals with ancient Japanese Shinigami gods no matter how tempting the deal or how suavely dressed the Shinigami is.

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Re: Amazon description of Legends
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2015, 12:23:18 AM »
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Quote
This isn't Red Sonja XD But hey, they both are blonde

Haha, Red sonja's hair is red, not blond. Unless you already knew that of course  ;)
"Spirituality is God's gift to humanity...
Religion is Man's flawed interpretation of Spirituality given back to humanity..."

Offline zangetsu468

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Re: Amazon description of Legends
« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2015, 12:58:36 AM »
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So many things wrong with this description.. How could anyone manage to know LESS about the game?
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<[Judgement]>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

                              
                **<<<<<SuperCVIV>COTM<<<<<<<<+
                                 ^      l   v  ^    v                 ^
                                 ^      l   v  ^    +<<<<<<<BE
                                 ^      l   v  ^    v                 ^  
                                 ^      l   v  ^    v     BE>>> VK<**   
                                 ^      l   v  ^    v     ^          ^   
            +<<<<<Legends>HC>OOS>LOD>64       ^
            v                           l              ^                ^
            v                           l     BE>> * <<<BE    RE
            v                           l      ^               ^       ^
LOI>CVIII>COD>AR>BR>CVC>CVII>HOD>ROB>SOTN>OOE>BL>POR>AOS>DOS>>>KD
                                                                          v
                                                                         BE>*  
BE=Bad Ending
RE=Richter Ending

Offline Crying Freeman

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Re: Amazon description of Legends
« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2015, 02:52:14 PM »
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So many things wrong with this description.. How could anyone manage to know LESS about the game?

You just can't. Someone definitely had a lazy day at work.

Offline Belmontoya

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Re: Amazon description of Legends
« Reply #8 on: November 30, 2015, 03:08:40 PM »
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You just made me realize that someone probably got paid to write that...

👎🏻
The worst monsters are human.

Offline zangetsu468

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Re: Amazon description of Legends
« Reply #9 on: November 30, 2015, 04:10:12 PM »
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Although this is terrible, at least it's an amazon description. When NOA used to put complete and utter bullshit into the manuals of Legend of Zelda (namely ALTTP) that shit made my blood boil.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<[Judgement]>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

                              
                **<<<<<SuperCVIV>COTM<<<<<<<<+
                                 ^      l   v  ^    v                 ^
                                 ^      l   v  ^    +<<<<<<<BE
                                 ^      l   v  ^    v                 ^  
                                 ^      l   v  ^    v     BE>>> VK<**   
                                 ^      l   v  ^    v     ^          ^   
            +<<<<<Legends>HC>OOS>LOD>64       ^
            v                           l              ^                ^
            v                           l     BE>> * <<<BE    RE
            v                           l      ^               ^       ^
LOI>CVIII>COD>AR>BR>CVC>CVII>HOD>ROB>SOTN>OOE>BL>POR>AOS>DOS>>>KD
                                                                          v
                                                                         BE>*  
BE=Bad Ending
RE=Richter Ending

Offline Crying Freeman

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Re: Amazon description of Legends
« Reply #10 on: December 01, 2015, 08:25:05 AM »
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You just made me realize that someone probably got paid to write that...

👎🏻

 ;DD sadly

Offline Crying Freeman

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Re: Amazon description of Legends
« Reply #11 on: December 01, 2015, 08:30:01 AM »
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Although this is terrible, at least it's an amazon description. When NOA used to put complete and utter bullshit into the manuals of Legend of Zelda (namely ALTTP) that shit made my blood boil.

I feel you, man. I haven't read ALTTP's English manual, but as a huge Golgo 13 fan I hated how Vic Tokai changed Golgo's occupation to secret agent, as any fan knows he's an assassin for hire. But hey, Nintendo is also to blame as their censorship rules were ridiculous. What's even worse, they wanted him changed from assassin to agent, but didn't get rid of the blood or swastika in the game?

Offline Lumi Kløvstad

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Re: Amazon description of Legends
« Reply #12 on: December 01, 2015, 03:30:04 PM »
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What's even worse, they wanted him changed from assassin to agent, but didn't get rid of the blood or swastika in the game?

The thing about censorship is that it seldom makes any sort of goddamn sense.
How not to be a dark lord: the answer to that is a terribly interesting answer that involves an almost Jedi-like adherence to keeping oneself under control and finding ways to be true to yourself in a way that doesn't encourage the worst parts of you to become dangerously exaggerated and instead feeds your better nature. Also, protip: don't fuck with Alchemy or strike up any deals with ancient Japanese Shinigami gods no matter how tempting the deal or how suavely dressed the Shinigami is.

Offline zangetsu468

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Re: Amazon description of Legends
« Reply #13 on: December 01, 2015, 04:19:25 PM »
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I feel you, man. I haven't read ALTTP's English manual, but as a huge Golgo 13 fan I hated how Vic Tokai changed Golgo's occupation to secret agent, as any fan knows he's an assassin for hire. But hey, Nintendo is also to blame as their censorship rules were ridiculous. What's even worse, they wanted him changed from assassin to agent, but didn't get rid of the blood or swastika in the game?

I remember seeing Golgo 13 on VHS years ago when I was like 15 and the English version was called "The Professional" - like the film with Natalie Portman and Jean Reno - but are the 2 even related or was it a marketing ploy for a Western Audience?
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<[Judgement]>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

                              
                **<<<<<SuperCVIV>COTM<<<<<<<<+
                                 ^      l   v  ^    v                 ^
                                 ^      l   v  ^    +<<<<<<<BE
                                 ^      l   v  ^    v                 ^  
                                 ^      l   v  ^    v     BE>>> VK<**   
                                 ^      l   v  ^    v     ^          ^   
            +<<<<<Legends>HC>OOS>LOD>64       ^
            v                           l              ^                ^
            v                           l     BE>> * <<<BE    RE
            v                           l      ^               ^       ^
LOI>CVIII>COD>AR>BR>CVC>CVII>HOD>ROB>SOTN>OOE>BL>POR>AOS>DOS>>>KD
                                                                          v
                                                                         BE>*  
BE=Bad Ending
RE=Richter Ending

Offline Crying Freeman

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Re: Amazon description of Legends
« Reply #14 on: December 02, 2015, 10:37:26 AM »
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I remember seeing Golgo 13 on VHS years ago when I was like 15 and the English version was called "The Professional" - like the film with Natalie Portman and Jean Reno - but are the 2 even related or was it a marketing ploy for a Western Audience?

Definitely a marketing ploy. I hear they have similarities, but completely different films. Golgo 13 The Professional is my #1 fav movie BTW (I know, I have very odd taste lol)

It's fun to look at Streamline Pictures stuff, as one of the first distributors of anime in the US, and most of their dubs have really good acting compared to bland emotionless stuff today.

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