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Offline Shiroi Koumori

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Re: "Translation Request" Thread
« Reply #90 on: April 08, 2019, 03:36:09 AM »
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I have a friend who has lived in Japan a good part of his life, he is interested in doing the translation.

Goody goody!!

I'm sure he'll do better than me (who just studied Japanese for a year).

Offline OldSchoolArikado

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Re: "Translation Request" Thread
« Reply #91 on: April 09, 2019, 09:49:44 AM »
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Well, hands in the job :)

Offline spiffy

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Re: "Translation Request" Thread
« Reply #92 on: June 24, 2019, 12:09:11 AM »
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This ad I posted on RHDN's Help Wanted subforum has gone unanswered for almost a year, so I'll repost it here and see if I have better luck this time:

"Hello, I'm the guy who made the Localization Fix for Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance. I've set my sights on releasing a sort of 'final' or definitive version of my patch (as well as the one for AoS) before the year is out.  The one thing I would really like to focus on for this final release is whether or not the in-game cutscene dialogue needs any further revisions or touch-ups in order to be both closer to the original Japanese script and to improve its overall readability/flow.

I've already made a few changes in the previous version(s), mostly for the reasons I've already stated. However, I'm certainly no native speaker, and I've probably made some mistakes. So now, I'm humbly asking anyone with the appropriate expertise and experience to help me compare the original Japanese dialogue script with the updated English script that I'm currently using for the latest version of the patch.

As far as resources go, there doesn't seem to be a complete dump or transcription of the Japanese script anywhere on the internet at the moment. The Script page for HoD on the Castlevania Wiki contains links to a Youtube playthrough of the Japanese version of the game corresponding to each section of the story, which is somewhat inconvenient but still the best available option. Transcripts of certain scenes relating to Maxim's character are also available here, but that's obviously all that the author covered. There's also a Translation Guide on GameFAQs that contains a rough, literal translation of the game's original Japanese dialogue, but I can't completely guarantee its accuracy.

Any interested parties can just hit me with a PM and I'll be very happy to share and discuss any information regarding previous or future possible script revisions in the form of documents/text files or emulator save states."

Offline Nagumo

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Re: "Translation Request" Thread
« Reply #93 on: June 24, 2019, 12:22:10 PM »
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About a year ago I translated all of the cutscenes and had someone else double check it for me. I have attached the file to this post. The left most column is the transcript of the original Japanese dialogue. The right most column is my own translation and the middle column is the translation of the double checker.

Give it a read and let me know what you think.

Offline spiffy

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Re: "Translation Request" Thread
« Reply #94 on: June 26, 2019, 10:22:47 AM »
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Here's a copy of the translated script, with both the official English localization as well as my stab at it in their own columns. Sorry I had to delete your own translation effort, but it was the quickest and most expedient way to pump something out.  ;D

If you and your proofreader (or anyone else) can provide me with a few more translations, such as:

- The opening intro crawl
- Miscellaneous player actions/messages (such as setting down furniture, using the Floodgate Key, locked doors)
- Additional dialogue for the Mysterious Merchant 
- The original Japanese area names

...then this thing should be just about ready for prime time once I insert/revise the text and review it over a full playthrough. I can't thank you enough for what you've done so far!
« Last Edit: June 26, 2019, 10:25:15 PM by spiffy »

Offline Nagumo

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Re: "Translation Request" Thread
« Reply #95 on: June 30, 2019, 07:57:51 AM »
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大理石の廊下: Marble Corridor

夢幻の間: Hall of Illusions/Hall of Mirages/Hall of Phantasms (take your pick) I decided on "hall" here because room sounds like just an ordinary room while "hall" has the connotation of "big and imposing" which I think is suitable for this area.

悪魔城宝物庫: Demon Castle Treasury (Since official translation never use "demon castle", I'm not sure if you want to keep that for your localization).

悪魔城最上部: Demon Castle Top Floor

I'll have to think long and hard about the others.
     

Offline spiffy

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Re: "Translation Request" Thread
« Reply #96 on: June 30, 2019, 10:59:39 AM »
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No worries, I managed to find all the area titles on clearfeather's Japanese Castlevania website, so I'll see what I can come up with after a quick 'machine' (AKA jisho.org) translation:

Format: Official English -> Japanese (In-Game English Translation) -> My Localization

- Entrance -> Entrance -> Entrance (no work needed here)
- Marble Corridor -> 大理石の廊下 (Corridor of Marble) -> Marble Corridor (ditto)
- Room of Illusion -> 夢幻の間 (Room of Illusion) -> Hall of Illusion (good call on this one, plus it's obviously more than one room)
- The Wailing Way -> 燭哭参道 (The Approach of Deplore) -> The Wailing Way (no need to change this one)
- Shrine of the Apostates -> 背教祀廟 (Heretic's Grave) -> Tomb of the Heretics (place is an open-air mausoleum, so went with 'tomb' - not sure if I should stick with 'Apostates' or 'Heretics', see below)
- Castle Treasury -> 悪魔城宝物庫 (Castle's Treasury) -> Castle Treasury ('Demon Castle' prefix is a bit redundant in English, so dropped it)
- Skeleton Cave -> 骸骨魔窟 (Skeleton Cave) -> Skeleton Nest (kanji and area context allude towards the idea of a breeding/meeting ground for something vile, like a spider, so went with 'nest')
- Castle Top Floor -> 悪魔城最上部 (Castle Tower) -> Castle Top Floor (same with 'Castle Treasury')
- Luminous Cavern -> ひかりごけの洞窟 (Moss-Grown Cave) -> Schistostega​ Caverns ('ひかりごけ' specifically referring to luminous moss, so used its scientific name for clarity and flow - still iffy on this one, might change it back)
- Sky Walkway -> 空中回廊 (Corridor in the Air) -> Floating Gallery ('Cloister' just doesn't sound right, and it's the Chapel area that contains the actual church part, so went with the word's secondary meaning)
- Chapel of Dissonance / 異端礼拝堂 (Chapel of the Heretic) -> Chapel of Apostasy (torn between 'Chapel of Apostasy' and 'Chapel of Heresy' and I don't want to re-use one synonym between two area titles)
- Aquaduct of Dragons / 架橋龍水道 (Waterway of Aquatic) -> Aquaduct of Dragons (official translation is accurate and appropriate)
- Clock Tower / 因果律機械塔 (Clockwork Tower) -> Clockwork Tower (plenty of individual clocks, but I don't ever remember actually seeing the main 'unit' - Japanese also specifically refers to 'clockwork' and not 'clock')

I'm still a little iffy on a few lines in the edited translation document I posted, so I'll keep working at it until I'm satisfied. I want it to be both accurate while still flowing well and sounding appropriate for each character. I'm dimly aware that there are various different speech patterns and archetypes in the Japanese language, but I doubt I'll be able to identify them if you asked me, so I'm hoping I haven't made any individual character sound more formal or colloquial than they appropriately should (as indicated by the original Japanese text).
« Last Edit: June 30, 2019, 11:13:46 AM by spiffy »

Offline Nagumo

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Re: "Translation Request" Thread
« Reply #97 on: July 04, 2019, 12:39:25 PM »
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Which lines are you still unsure about?

Offline spiffy

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Re: "Translation Request" Thread
« Reply #98 on: July 05, 2019, 10:09:15 AM »
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Oh, my rewritten ones, of course! I'm a bit of a perfectionist, as you've probably already noticed. Tomorrow, I'll hopefully have posted a final version of my rewrite for you (and hopefully your proofreader as well) to look over. Like I said, I want to maintain a balance of accuracy (to the spirit/general sense of the Japanese script) and naturalness/readability.


Also, it looks like I was wrong in my last post: the clock tower is visible. It's in full view on the Castle Top Floor (whoops!), so 'Clock Tower' it is, then.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2019, 08:42:34 AM by spiffy »

Offline spiffy

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Re: "Translation Request" Thread
« Reply #99 on: July 06, 2019, 08:41:37 AM »
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And here it is. Take a look.

Offline Nagumo

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Re: "Translation Request" Thread
« Reply #100 on: July 07, 2019, 06:27:45 AM »
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Just two minor things:

"もっとも城を欲したのは、后からの精神だが..。" "もっとも" means "although" here. The original translation definitely got that wrong. Otherwise it would have been written as "最も". Here's the grammar page.

"つまり、お主の親友とやらの心に消えてもらう必要があるのだ。" Did you translate "とやら" as "if you still consider him to be such" because of context or because you thought it sounded better? Because I don't think that interpretation is supported by the text itself. I personally interpreted that line as Death belittling Juste and Maxim's relationship.

By the way, what do you think is Death's motivation for merging this castle? Has Maxim's evil side become the "new Dracula" and is he carrying out his wishes? Or would merging the castles somehow result in the ressurection of the original Dracula? (But why would that be neccessary?) I never was able to find a clear answer to that question.   
 

Offline spiffy

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Re: "Translation Request" Thread
« Reply #101 on: July 07, 2019, 10:17:14 AM »
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Quote
"もっとも城を欲したのは、后からの精神だが..。" "もっとも" means "although" here. The original translation definitely got that wrong. Otherwise it would have been written as "最も". Here's the grammar page.

Yeah, I was wondering why Death was questioning such an obvious and logical occurrence, but your correction made me realize that he was simply conceding the idea that only the wicked spirit desired a castle. So the rewritten line should be something like "Granted, it was but the latter spirit who desired one at all…"

Quote
"つまり、お主の親友とやらの心に消えてもらう必要があるのだ。" Did you translate "とやら" as "if you still consider him to be such" because of context or because you thought it sounded better? Because I don't think that interpretation is supported by the text itself. I personally interpreted that line as Death belittling Juste and Maxim's relationship.

Ah, so more like dry sarcasm, then. So something like "In short, it is imperative that your dear, cherished friend be rid of his spirit." (Still sounds a little clunky, though - might keep at this one)

Quote
By the way, what do you think is Death's motivation for merging this castle? Has Maxim's evil side become the "new Dracula" and is he carrying out his wishes? Or would merging the castles somehow result in the ressurection of the original Dracula? (But why would that be neccessary?) I never was able to find a clear answer to that question.

From my understanding, by allowing the 'consciousness' of Dracula's disembodied remains to gain to full control of Maxim's body, Death would then have both a powerful vessel for Dracula's complete resurrection and a stable base/arcane focal point in which to achieve said resurrection - the fully merged castle, which was brought into existence by the same residual arcane energies contained in Dracula's remains. Dracula's actual soul is still in limbo (or the Demon Realm or whatever) at this point and requires further ritual and sacrifice to incarnate it in our realm. I figure that if you have both a powerful host body literally animated by the residual magic of the being you're trying to resurrect, as well as a demonic base of operations that was also brought into existence by said residual magic, then I guess you're only a chant or blood sacrifice away from summoning the real deal. I guess that's what Death meant by 'preparing a temporary castle'. There's still more work to be done after snuffing out Maxim's soul and finally getting a stable and complete castle to work with.

EDIT: Now that you mention it, the castle featured in the game is not actually Castlevania/Dracula's Castle itself, but an imperfect copy. Maybe Death is banking on the real Demon Castle to poof into existence once he fully resurrects his master, as is it's known to do. Then he could just cast aside Maxim's crappy imitation castle and get himself situated in the genuine article. The phrase 'temporary castle' makes even more sense now!
« Last Edit: July 07, 2019, 10:33:25 AM by spiffy »

Offline spiffy

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Re: "Translation Request" Thread
« Reply #102 on: July 09, 2019, 11:07:10 PM »
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With the help of another Japanese Youtube playthrough, I've noted down the remaining bits of Merchant dialogue as well as the in-game messages that appear when obtaining items and performing various actions. My own sketchy translations are also included in the document, with an empty column for proofreading and corrections, of course.

After that, it's just the intro text crawl and menu descriptions (pause, sound test, file menu, etc.) that need to be reviewed.

EDIT: Found a Japanese transcription of the introductory text crawl and have appended it to the document (I'm a bit too intimidated to attempt my own translation, so I left the column blank)
« Last Edit: July 10, 2019, 12:09:27 AM by spiffy »

Offline Nagumo

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Re: "Translation Request" Thread
« Reply #103 on: July 13, 2019, 07:40:39 AM »
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I've proofchecked your translations (see document)!

I'm still working on the opening crawl but you can take a look at what I've got so far.

Offline spiffy

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Re: "Translation Request" Thread
« Reply #104 on: July 14, 2019, 01:26:02 AM »
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Looks great so far!

In regards to the area names, I'll probably have to post another help ad on RHDN, or here even. I've located and ripped the LZ77-compressed graphics for all the English area title graphics as well as the palette data (pal/tpl file formats and the hex offset). The only problem is that I'm certainly no pixel artist and I'm still wrangling with both Tile Layer Pro and YY-CHR. The former offers a helpful 'wrap-around' function when re-sizing the drawing window (which greatly helps with the way these specific graphics are laid out in the raw files). YY-CHR lacks this feature but is far more user friendly when it comes to actually editing each individual pixel. It could be Christmas by the time I'm done getting my head around either of them, so as much as it pains me to do it, I'll think I'll need to get in touch with a more experienced pixel artist.

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