Topic: You suck so much at Castlevania...

[Cypress]

You suck so much at castlevania that in SotN death gave you the crissaegrim.

[Long John Silver]

You have yet to mock me, and I would appreciate it if you would refrain from doing so, despite how much this comment is probably tempting you right now.

then stop coming up with embarrassing unfunny stuff. newbie gameplay screw ups aren't really funny material. though cvfan does that way more.

also

You suck so much at Castlevania, that in Harmony of Dissonance, you fell under the drawbridge!

you actually have to time it right, it's hard to get under the drawbridge. nobody who sucks could do it.

[Rugal]

You suck so much at Castlevania that Dracula took a shit on you from the throne room.

[Operation Ravage]

You suck so much at Castlevania . . .

That the the game gives you 20 lives when you type in "Help Me."

That Grant refused to join your party.

That you bounced a check at Rinaldo's shop.

That Death died of old age waiting for you to show up.

That you plan on buying Judgement so you can clear it on easy mode and finally say that you've beaten a Castlevania game.

[Gimph]

In Reply To #182


Oh my goodness, you're right! I just tried it. Okay, I haven't used newbie screw-ups THAT much!


Anyway,
You suck so much at Castlevania, that you died in Castlevania 64 when the serpent broke through the wall and hit you.

[erimocard]

You suck so much at Castlevania . . .

That Grant refused to join your party.

OLOLOOOOOL
Probably the funniest thing ever.

[Gimph]

You suck so much at Castlevania, that in Symphony of the Night, you died falling on spikes after getting the spike breaking armor.

[A n t r a x x]

You suck so much at Castlevania...

You can't control your jumps; even in real life.

[Operation Ravage]

You suck so much at Lament of Innocence, that you decided that the best way to escape the Forest of Eternal Night was by waiting for the sun to rise.

You suck so much at Castlevania Legends that IGA kept Sonia and rectonned you.

You suck so much at Curse of Darkness that your Innocent Devils got drunk at a party, started flirting with Gaibon, and lost their innocence.

You suck so much at Belmont's Revenge that you couldn't even find the first stage.

You suck so much at Simon's Quest, that when the game told you to strike the cliff with your head, your mom grounded you for putting a hole in the sheetrock.

You suck so much at Symphony of the Night that you fell out the bottom of the Inverted Castle.

You suck so much at Circle of the Moon that you couldn't get your whip to spin.

You suck so much at Castlevania 64 that the mutated lizardman wouldn't give you the key.

[A n t r a x x]

In Reply To #189

Good stuff

[Long John Silver]

You suck so much at Castlevania...

You can't control your jumps; even in real life.

i want to see you start running, do a running jump, then suddenly stop in mid air, turn around and land in the place you jumped from

protip: it's impossible to control your jumps in real life like in video games

[Gimph]

You suck so much at Castlevania, you got pwned by Kid Dracula.

[erimocard]

You stink so much at CV, that Beelzebub ran away when he smelled you.

[Gimph]

You suck so much at Castlevania, you couldn't figure out how to use the elevator in Harmony of Dissonance.

[Legion]

You suck so much at Castlevania that you tried to read all the books in the library.